Best Quotes About Funny

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. -George Bernard Shaw

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive. -Jerry Seinfeld

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting. -William Arthur Ward

God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. -Garrison Keillor

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. -Robert Frost

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. -Dr. Seuss

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny…' -Isaac Asimov

It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. -W. Somerset Maugham

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. -Will Rogers

I'm not funny. What I am is brave. -Lucille Ball

It's funny how most people love the dead, once you're dead, you're made for life. -Jimi Hendrix

Justin Timberlake is everything, and what more could you want in a person? He's funny. He's cute. He's great. He just understands. I get him and he gets me, and that's cool. -Britney Spears

I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet. -Angelina Jolie

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. -Ellen DeGeneres

I really think that sex always looks kind of funny in a movie. -William Friedkin

Violence is not funny. -William Friedkin

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. -Steve Martin

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. -David Ogilvy

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. -Adlai Stevenson I

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. -Mae West

It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it. -Julia Roberts

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. -Woody Allen

They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that? -Casey Stengel

It's funny what a few no-hitters do for a body. -Satchel Paige

It's a funny old world. -Margaret Thatcher

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. -Jean Baudrillard

I got to dress up in funny clothes and run around New Zealand with a bow and arrow for 18 months, how bad could that be? -Orlando Bloom

It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified. -Gilbert K. Chesterton

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. -Peter Ustinov

Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend. -Lucy Liu

It's funny when someone says to you 'you're hot' and all that, because I don't think of it in that way. -Kate Winslet

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God. -Bill Cosby

You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things. -Ken Kesey

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest. -Janeane Garofalo

Losing streaks are funny. If you lose at the beginning you got off to a bad start. If you lose in the middle of the season, you're in a slump. If you lose at the end, you're choking. -Gene Mauch

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie… a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. -George Orwell

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. -Will Rogers

I'm odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet. -Angelina Jolie

Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids and family and friends, and I don't like bad things. I don't think they're funny, and it's irresponsible to make movies that don't show you how that's not good. -Billy Bob Thornton

Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting. -Bill Gates

A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone – you either have it or you don't. And by the way – when you get it, we don't know it. -Carl Reiner

I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am. -Jennifer Aniston

That's what I hate about a lot of comedies, when you're hitting a line or making it funny. -Jennifer Aniston

Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right. -Matthew Perry

We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things. -David Walliams

When I worked with Robin Williams, now there is improv! He is just as funny as you think he is. We did at least five or six takes of every scene, improvising every scene differently. He was a riot. -Stephen Root

I'm obsessive about the kind of melodrama of getting through the days and trying to make them good and funny and a happy experience. But my feeling towards the fans is that they delivered me from darkness. -Tom Baker

All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can only hope that other people think that what you think is funny is funny. I don't have an answer but I just try to plough straight ahead. -Will Ferrell

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time. -Will Ferrell

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny – and I never was. -Will Ferrell

I also think if you're an actor and you can improvise, when you go on an audition and you can improvise you're just a genius. If you can, you know, take a Tide commercial and you can just say one funny line that's not in the commercial they think you're a genius. -Amy Poehler

My family's always been really funny. I feel like comedy's hard. I feel like it's so important. -Christine Taylor

It's funny to me that people find other people getting coffee really interesting, or walking their dog in the dog park. -Jake Gyllenhaal

I was not particularly bright, I wasn't very athletic, I was a little too tall, odd, funny looking, I was just really weird as a kid. -Uma Thurman

The thing that's funny is that everyone thinks I'm dead. -Charles Nelson Reilly

It's funny. Of all the jobs I've been ambitious for, this is one that never crossed my mind. -Edmund S. Muskie

It's funny how sometimes how the public some people think I was born like this. That I maybe I sleep and I do big muscle, but its a lot of work to look like this and to be in this kind of condition. -Lou Ferrigno

When I started my program… there was a big clock in the corner and I looked and it said nine o'clock exactly. And it was funny, because when I was standing on the podium, it said exactly 10 p.m., and this whole hour had changed my life. -Sarah Hughes

It's so funny that people specify that year because in a way it was the biggest battle for me health wise. -Brady Anderson

I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer. -David Sedaris

I like reading Ball Tongue lyrics and all that stuff. And they published a book, and I wouldn't give my lyrics, and it's all wrong in the book, and I giggle. It's funny. -Jonathan Davis

I think back to some of the things Harry said and some of the things I said trying to be funny. If I said them now, it would be on the front page of every newspaper in the country. -Jack Buck

I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican. -Marion Barry

It's funny how it usually works out that I end up dying. It sort of works out, because by the time I die, I'm usually tired of working on that particular movie, so I look forward to it. -Owen Wilson

It's a real primal thing, watching someone get hurt. It's funny and accessible. -Johnny Knoxville

My heart is so light that it's amazing. I get to play all this grief, all this loss, all this disaster and chaos. It's hysterically funny. I am very light. -Linda Hamilton

I do like any kind of project that has both comedy and drama in it because in life you don't have one day where everything is funny then the next day everything is dramatic. -Topher Grace

When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group. -Shirin Ebadi

The funny thing about television is that once you start to do it you never get time to watch it. -Kevin Sorbo

I consider myself very lucky. God has a funny way of bringing some things around and knocking you in the head with the ultimate destination. Something I should have achieved quite easily took me a long time to get around to. It came in His time, not mine. -Jim Morris

I can do comedy, so people want me to do that, but the other side of comedy is depression. Deep, deep depression is the flip side of comedy. Casting agents don't realize it but in order to be funny you have to have that other side. -Parker Posey

Don't get me wrong, there are sometimes if I go and see a really funny comedy, that I wished I had smoked a joint. I'll be honest with you. That's the truth. -Stephen Baldwin

If you take a bunch of superstars and put them in a room where they don't have their assistants and entourage, it's funny to see what happens. -Daryl Hall

You know, it's funny… when you're making money, people don't think you're playing jazz. Now when you're not making money, people think that you're a good jazz musician. -Pete Fountain

A rich man's joke is always funny. -Thomas Edward Brown

It's funny how most activists are pacifists. -Craig Bruce

It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals. -Craig Bruce

I'm known as a kind of dramatic, serious, almost humorless actor and the fact is, I'm a funny guy, and I spend most of my life trying to find a lighter side of things, and on stage was given plenty of opportunity to do that. -Campbell Scott

Especially with a comedy, you've got the clear cut goal of trying to make a scene funny. It's not like drama where you're trying to achieve some kind of emotion or trying to further the story along. You're trying to figure out what's the funniest way to do something. -Luke Wilson

Courtney Love is really cool and funny. I would like to meet Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz. I think I could play their daughters. -Dakota Fanning

In the happy scenes there were really fun times. Sean would say really funny stuff because he likes to improv. I would want to laugh, but you are not allowed to do that during the take. -Dakota Fanning

Until now, until I actually got into law class, I just never thought of it as being an interest for me, but it's really funny because now that I'm in law, I'm like 'Wow, I could be a lawyer. -Lisa Leslie

When I was a kid I had this funny blonde hair and everyone called me 'Chick' because I looked like Tweety Bird. -Nicky Hilton

It's sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it's real funny. -Seth Green

Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny. -Will Eisner

The one thing that disturbs me about Alec is that people don't realize that he's really funny. -Daniel Baldwin

I'm 42 and the age of a guy who has kids, so I guess I'm playing right where I'm supposed to be. I'm comfortable with that, but in the same breath I'd do something edgy. If someone came to me and offered me an edgy and funny story, then I'd do it. -Eddie Murphy

I walked in thinking, 'I have ten movies under my belt and now they want me to go back to making commercials?' I said, if I do that, I want it to be funny. -Orlando Jones

It's funny, I remember doing the Johnny Carson show, and, uh, I couldn't afford my rent. -Natalie Merchant

It's funny, but when there are dominant teams, there are a number of people who rail about the fact that they're always seeing the Dallas Cowboys or the San Francisco 49ers or the Green Bay either in the playoffs or in the Super Bowl. -Al Michaels

Billy Tauzin is one of the most interesting people in Washington. He is smart, funny, and interesting. -Tucker Carlson

If you just stop and think, baby, honey, love is a funny thing. Whatever you put in, that's what you expect to gain. -Jimmy Reed

It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget. -Chuck Palahniuk

Since she got a cause and stopped being funny. I think she's real funny, but lately it's all been hearts and flowers and tears and saving teenagers and creating a role model. And that ain't funny. No giggles there. -Andy Richter

The funny thing is, the music that I'm writing now is probably some of the most cutting edge we've ever done. The music that I'm thinking about putting on our next album. -Charlie Daniels

We went through all the scenes and they became kind of funny and they expanded a little bit and because it seemed to be working so well in the movie, they added a couple of things later on in the movie and that's how it turned out. -Eugene Levy

It's funny that all these goths paint their faces with such white make-up and that is the actual colour of my skin, I am that pale! -Kelly Osbourne

In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me. -Rosie Perez

I remember certain people in the audience laughing and I wanted to ask: 'What are you laughing at? This isn't funny.' Now I realize that laughter can come from insecurity. They don't know how they should be feeling. -Jim Dale

I did. I did see Bigfoot when I was a kid and I still believe it to this day. I saw a big furry man outside my window. It's not funny! It was real. -Barry Watson

It's good to be funny when you are a comedian. -George Lindsey

There have been times when I felt suicidal and I would stop my head from going in that direction of negativity because I thought there'd be something I'd miss that was funny in the future. If there's a chance I'm going to laugh tomorrow then want to live to experience that. -Dave Navarro

From Kelsey, I have learned among many other things the value of turning on a dime and how you can have an extremely funny and extremely poignant moment with absolutely no separation in between… and sometimes in the same moment. -David Hyde Pierce

Sometimes in the most tragic situation, something just profoundly funny happens. -David Hyde Pierce

On some level in acting, what you're trying to find is truth, because when it's true is when it's also funny. -David Hyde Pierce

Let's make some funny pictures. -Tex Avery

The funny thing is that I had never actually watched TV. -Dave Willis

It was funny, when I thought of it afterward, how Ruth and Gehrig looked as they stood there. The Babe must have been waiting for me to get the ball up a little so he could get his bat under it. -Carl Hubbell

Sex is funny and love is serious. -Stephan Jenkins

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is a form of service journalism. To be successful, I think it has to be a combination of a good story, it has to be funny, and it also needs to be packed with useful information. -Ted Allen

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever. -Gilbert Gottfried

Acting is all about big hair and funny props… All the great actors knew it. Olivier knew it, Brando knew it. -Harold Ramis

I allow a lot of room for improvisation and funny stuff. I always feel planned. -Michael Bay

I can't imagine actually singing on this show like I did on 'Felicity', but it would be kind of funny. -Amy Jo Johnson

I'm doing a very funny show in which we talk about issues. I speak at Aids charities and things. It's great to do something fun with our days and yet we're told we're doing something important. -Eric McCormack

If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny? -Casey Affleck

If you look at the game and everything, it's not quite like looking at an animated film, because that's total character. This, this is really movement, but it's got funny little things if you look for the humor. They're actually getting to the character. -Don Bluth

I do not think that obsession is funny or that not being able to stop one's intensity is funny. -Jim Dine

It's funny, my girlfriends think that because I am married to a fashion designer, I get all these great tips and hints about great fashion, but it's not like that at all. He never tells me what to wear. -Lori Loughlin

But it is funny, because I saw Unbreakable recently and it's a strange movie, I didn't mind it, and it's got some interesting things going on. -Alex Winter

Same thing, like my commercials are often times really funny because I tend to find 30 seconds is a really good amount of time to tell a joke. -Alex Winter

And remember, it's also very funny, because side by side with grief lies joy. -Fran Drescher

It's funny; Luther and I have written many songs together, but we've never written songs in the same room. -Richard Marx

But it's funny that now I'm in such a happy situation, I look more objectively at my own past and see what others have seen for a long time and I'm just so glad I've been able to get to this point. -Rick Allen

I like all Jim Carrey films. They're really funny. -Rupert Grint

Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist. -Sarah Silverman

But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough. -Sarah Silverman

But I think once the word gets out that the movie is funny – funny is transcendent – it will traverse all demographic barriers if people embrace it as a funny movie. -Thomas Haden Church

No, it's funny, when I eat out it's not typically in the kind of restaurants people might imagine. -Thomas Keller

Well in the book Carrie was my alter ego. In real life, Sarah Jessica and I don't look anything alike. But people do say that we sound alike. Sarah Jessica is an adorable girl and she is very funny. -Candace Bushnell

My company is known for being funny as well as moving. You get a bit of everything in these shows. I think people know they're going to have a surprising experience. -Matthew Bourne

It's funny, when people talk about the 70s I can tell you the year of every album but when it comes to the later efforts I can't remember the exact years, it's funny isn't it? -Steve Hackett

I guess the producers saw me and knew I was literate and I always tried to be alert and it's funny because you have to have a sharpness to do those shows, especially some of the ones I did in later years. -June Lockhart

It's funny how making odd noises can get you into strange situations sometimes. -Eric San

It's fun to do something funny and have the director laughing. It makes you feel good. -Jon Lovitz

You, the actor, must be aware of when you're being funny, but the character you're playing should always be oblivious to the fact. -Jon Lovitz

It's funny how a film about a murderous old English toff can help you. -Jim Broadbent

It's funny how all of this has worked out – I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up. -Jimmy Kimmel

People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life. -Mark Ruffalo

And, in a funny way, each death is different and you mourn each death differently and each death brings back the death you mourned earlier and you get into a bit of a pile-up. -Nigella Lawson

Also, in a funny way, if you have been happily married there are no unresolved areas, nothing to prove to yourself after the other dies. -Nigella Lawson

It's so funny because I listen to songs that I recorded that I didn't really know anything about at the time. Later on I'm starting to feel the songs. Sing them first, feel them later. -Tanya Tucker

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business. -Wanda Sykes

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that. -Wanda Sykes

I'm really funny now. -Wanda Sykes

I never say a funny thing intentionally. -Jayne Meadows

My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something – some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head. -Karen Duffy

But this show reminds me that there are other aspects to me besides the fact that I'm a funny chick. -Kristen Johnston

I'd so much rather people think I was funny than pretty. -Kristen Johnston

I think Janeane Garofalo is incredibly funny, and I love Dennis Miller. -Kristen Johnston

Shakespeare wrote great plays that we're still watching all these years later. Charlie Chaplin made great comedies and they are still as funny today as they ever were. -Leonard Maltin

I wasn't even 20 at the time, but it taught me something about drugs. They can take a good man, a warm, funny, loving family man, and turn him into a loser and worse. -Michael Bergin

Jonathan Lynn is one of the last actors Orsen Welles used in a production. It was wonderful. He's very sharp, very sharp. It's funny I've been asked how weird it was to have a Brit do a church gospel movie. -Cuba Gooding, Jr.

So what I do now is to pre-empt that by making the up into a virtue, and telling funny stories about how crap I am before people have a chance to notice it for themselves and think maybe I haven't realised. -Emily Mortimer

I wanted to do an hour-long show, and I wanted to something that was dramatic and sometimes funny and humorous, as well. I'm just delighted to have this opportunity to be a part of this project. -Ron Glass

Of course, the wind sort of swept up and the music was flying around in mid air and they were trying to play off it. You had to be there. It was quite funny. -Roy Wood

I tell you, it's funny because the only time I think about HIV is when I have to take my medicine twice a day. -Magic Johnson

You know, it was just another presentation of my work, and a funny one, because the cards are quite different from the normal Tarot deck, no? -H. R. Giger

You know, I said I have this problem that I need to more carefully read Akron's text because it's too much, too much fantasy, and so I am busy with other stuff – it's funny, it's nice to hear that someone is studying that carefully and now I know a little bit more about that. -H. R. Giger

If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny. -Kate O'Brien

Nowadays they have 12 directors and 15 producers and 30 writers. And all the writers want their lines said a certain way-which isn't necessarily funny. I mean the lines aren't necessarily so funny to begin with. -Tim Conway

I hope they make a show like M*A*S*H, which dealt with a lot of difficult subject matter but was very funny. -Joan Severance

The books are funny and sad, and that's what people respond to. -Paula Danziger

I made the choice long ago to write about real life. And life is both serious and funny. -Paula Danziger

Nine out of 10 times these guys will hit it-they'll be on something incredibly funny, but one out of 10, two out of 10, they'll fall flat on their faces. That's what makes them great actors: they take those chances, they don't play it safe. -Peter Farrelly

I believe, in a funny way, the job of the novelist is to be out there on the fringes and speaking for an experience that has not really been spoken for. -Donna Tartt

Well, I had said to my friends, it's going to be good, but I bet it's going to be cheesy in a way. And I didn't think that at all. It's so good and was just so funny. -Brittany Snow

The funny thing is all these school shootings that we have, always happen in very religious communities. Maybe it's because the centre of their lives is a big fat nothing and it's just a fantasy and there's nothing there. I think maybe that might have something to do with it. -Matthew Bright

The guys on the stunt team are really fantastic. It's really funny, because for all the aggression they have to display on screen, they're actually really happy, good- natured people. -Miranda Otto

The commentary track became a lot like the movie and there are some funny, long, awkward pauses that you can tell we're just trying to find stuff to say. None of us had gotten to really talk about the movie until that moment and they were in New York and we were in L.A. -Jay Roach

I always find it kind of embarrassing, kind of funny, and kind of exciting. In New York I'm recognized a lot, although nobody says anything. You know, they stare at you just a second too long. But in Paris it's not as commonplace to be recognized. -Marc Jacobs

I don't think, 'Gee, I'd like to dress this person.' There was a picture in Us magazine. It was a jersey dress, and Courtney Love was wearing it. I have this thing about Courtney Love, this funny worship. -Marc Jacobs

Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it. -Mike Judge

During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one. -Jerry Stiller

I don't think my judgment is that good. I don't know what is funny. -Jerry Stiller

If people want to compete for leadership of a religious group, they can compete in piety. A chilling thought. Or funny. -Mary Douglas

I think it's so funny when people think they can't control a movie star. They can. We're just women, you know. -Esther Williams

When you're out of sight for as long as I was, there's a funny feeling of betrayal that comes over people when they see you again. -Esther Williams

People often ask me how I make things funny. I don't make things funny. -Richard Russo

If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke. -Richard Russo

We've finally told the world that this is sports entertainment, and I think one of the best forms of entertainment is anything that's fun or funny, something that you really enjoy watching or listening to. -Jerry Lawler

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people. -Kathy Griffin

So while it is true that I find really dark stuff funny sometimes, it's also true that as a writer of books I want to have the whole range of human emotions. -Rick Moody

I don't think the show would be funny to you if you didn't already have a base of information. -Samantha Bee

A lot of funny stuff happens in Canada. -Samantha Bee

The most important thing is to write material that YOU think is funny. If you don't think it's funny, but you're convinced that other people will think it is, well they won't. -Mo Rocca

When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny. -Mo Rocca

You know, he would go and look at different funny books because he wanted his character to be different and make different faces. I saw a funny book in his room and it looked like the same character he was playing. It was about a duck. -Bubba Smith

If you're talking about Java in particular, Python is about the best fit you can get amongst all the other languages. Yet the funny thing is, from a language point of view, JavaScript has a lot in common with Python, but it is sort of a restricted subset. -Guido van Rossum

Dali had a good sense of humor – obviously you could tell just looking at him; he was funny. -Joe Grant

I like to have fun and be funny, but I'm much more of a thinker. -Keenen Ivory Wayans

It perhaps has a chance, a commercial chance, this film. It's funny, it's charming, the idea is original, it's unusual and it makes fun of the movie industry in a way that it needs to be poked fun at. -Mark Rydell

Now that I'm more mature, in a funny way, I can even appreciate that I've bad to become more aware of my body. Since I've chosen acting as my career, I have to keep my weight down anyway-I've been used to it for years, so it's no problem. And there's nothing I can't do. -Dana Hill

It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny. -David Cross

I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which is the original thing which I thought was funny. -David Cross

I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people. -David Cross

Sylvester Stallone is very funny and he's a great guy to hang out with. -Eric Roberts

It's funny, but we were living on this small island off the coast of Charleston, South Carolina when I was 9. -Josh Lucas

It's funny, I get really nervous when I audition for voiceovers. -Julie Benz

I think movies glamorize violence, in the sense that they make it in a way that it's either cool or funny. -Matthew Vaughn

It's just something that's sort of funny, sort of not. -Max Cannon

Every milieu has something ridiculous about it – film-making, the music world, painting – because people who take themselves seriously become funny pretty quickly. -Rebecca Miller

They sent me the script and I thought that there was something very appealing and funny about it. Also, I was familiar with Mike Myers' work in Saturday Night Live, but I did not know the extent to which he would make this creation. -Michael York

You have to be funny about it and honest about it. You can't leave yourself out of that mix. You have to be honest enough to say, I'm that messed-up one in the family. -Louie Anderson

The townspeople outside the reservations had a very superior attitude toward Indians, which was kind of funny, because they weren't very wealthy; they were on the fringes of society themselves. -James Welch

It's both funny and sad which seem to me to be the two basic ingredients of good comedy. -Tony Hancock

We try to… we are, I suppose to a certain extent all affected and erm, that is both funny and sad I think. -Tony Hancock

But the funny thing is, I broke my finger not on set doing kung fu. I broke my finger when I fell down the stairs prior to going on set. -Jaime King

Our characters were antiseptic but we weren't. And if you remember what we did on BATMAN, as the scripts were written very funny, we played them very straight. -Burt Ward

Why would they have gone to the trouble to hire the best comedy writers in the business to write funny material for us to play straight, if the children in our audience were the only audience. -Burt Ward

They'll say, That's funny, but you can't do that on TV. -Shawn Wayans

We definitely have our finger on the pulse. You have to keep up. We decide what to watch by what's funny. -Shawn Wayans

We have always had gross humor. But we try for funny, not gross. -Shawn Wayans

It's funny – if you impersonate somebody, they have no idea it's them. -Tracey Ullman

It's funny, like 15 years ago when I was a kid doing all the John Hughes movies, I remember Bruce Willis was the only guy who was transitioning from television into film. -Anthony Michael Hall

Some really good things kind of swing both ways and I like to see people that can swing really, really, really sad and horrible and terrible and really, really, really beautiful and funny. -Beth Henley

I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny. -Carrot Top

What has been happening more lately – of course, I also put in my bio, I say I do the voice of Goliath, but some people go – you know, I say something, and it's a funny thing when you work in this business, people will talk out loud in front of you like you're not there. -Keith David

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny. -Larry David

In the Netherlands I read the first chapter of Exquisite Corpse to an audience that laughed in all the places I thought were funny – an experience I've never had in America! -Poppy Z. Brite

The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy. -Tommy Chong

It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too. -Bob Saget

Yet there are some people – Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored. -Bob Saget

I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet. -Bob Saget

The space and light up there in Norfolk is wonderfully peaceful. I find myself doing funny things like gardening, and cooking, which I rarely do in London. -Jeremy Northam

I only have three scenes and each is a turn and she gets progressively drunker. It's all terribly funny and its main challenge is that it's so far away from what I usually do. -Louise Jameson

Michael is a funny character, for whom I have a great deal of affection. He sat across his desk and seemed to be a bit of a blunt fellow. We began talking about the characters and he opened up about his vision. -Madeleine Stowe

I remember nearly having a fit of the giggles during the reading because dear Daniel was SO respectful and serious and I was finding the whole situation funny because I was speaking to his profile. -Madeleine Stowe

I think I am a star – I'm simply a funny-shaped star. -Malcolm Wilson

Writing for young children I find I often use particular jokes with words and exaggerated, funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex stories for older children too. -Margaret Mahy

It's upsetting that it is such a big deal. I wish it weren't an issue all the time. It's funny that people say it's a departure, because I've been acting since I was a child. I've played three gay roles out of hundreds. -Randy Harrison

A lot of my friends are club people. It's not me. It's funny to represent that, because it's not me. I don't fit into a gay club setting. It's just ironic that I represent that somehow. -Randy Harrison

What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a sissy in junior high school wanted me to be their best friend because they wanted to meet all the girls that I knew in figure skating. -Scott Hamilton

I knew exactly what to do on Alien, it was funny. -Ridley Scott

I'm always more motivated by the pain of a funny character than by what makes him funny. -Jason Alexander

The thing about For Better or Worse is the only thing that made me an okay director for that is that I have a sense of humor, and it was supposed to be funny. -Jason Alexander

I've never really understood that. It's a funny thing; people sometimes accuse us of condescending to our characters somehow-that to me is kind of inexplicable. -Joel Coen

It's a funny thing because you look at the careers of other filmmakers, and you see them sort of slow down, and you realize, maybe this becomes harder to do as you get older. That's sort of a cautionary thing. I hope it doesn't happen to me. -Joel Coen

The funny thing about making this record and being away from the girls and on my own in LA is that it allowed me to reflect on how much we've accomplished. -Melanie Chisholm

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me. -Paul Lynde

Politicians… talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics. -Paul Lynde

It's funny, 'cause it seems like just yesterday that I was the youngest player just starting out. But now there are young players all over the league, and they'll ask me questions about playing overseas or finding an agent. -Sue Wicks

It's funny. Some people remember that a lot more than I do. I remember certain parts of it, and if everybody who mentioned that to me had been to the game who said they were at the game, there'd be 800,000 people at that game, I think. -Carlton Fisk

He is very dry but also very funny… I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be. -Colin Quinn

You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it. -Colin Quinn

We didn't even think about it, you know? I used to collect laser discs, and you'd have some college professor analyzing It's a Wonderful Life or Citizen Kane, and now it is pretty funny – the idea of commentary for a silly kid's movie, you know? -Dana Carvey

I like drama. I love being in a drama where I get to be the funny guy. That's what I really love the most. -John Leguizamo

In terms of the creative side of it, it's really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever. -Trey Parker

It's funny because I think a lot of it is simply… We've never considered ourselves satirists, but because we're on Comedy Central and because we're South Park on Comedy Central, we can do any topic we want. -Trey Parker

No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.' -Trey Parker

It's funny looking at yourself. You know how it is when you look back at old pictures? It's just funny looking back at yourself walking and talking at age 14. -Jennifer Connelly

It was the most fun I've ever had on a movie. It was one of the happiest times in my life. I was living in New York, and I really enjoyed acting at the time. Also, it's funny because that was also the time when I went downhill. -Mickey Rourke

I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone. -Danny DeVito

Well, you know, I feel like it's about a lot of things. The reason that I made it was because I thought it was really funny and unique and just a different genre. -Danny DeVito

What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after I read it because I thought it was different and funny and unique and dark – things that I like to do. -Danny DeVito

One time when somebody showed up in a wedding dress, but I never knew if it was a joke, or she was serious. She asked me to marry her. She was serious. It was pretty funny. -Bryan White

What's funny about Jesus' Son is that I never even wrote that book, I just wrote it down. I would tell these stories and people would say, You should write these things down. -Denis Johnson

Billy Crystal knows how to make people laugh. He's got 30 years on stage… there's no telling him what's funny. -Harold Ramis

I'm not a believer in the pratfall. I don't think it's funny just to have someone fall down. -Harold Ramis

It's funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy. -Hedy Lamarr

I think Secretary's funny, it is about sex, and there's a lot of sex in it, sex is the key, but you're talking about a lot of other complicated things. -Maggie Gyllenhaal

As you know it is a comedy so everything is a little bit pushed. That's what's funny about this kind of movie is you can laugh about the absurdity, and the bad side of life. -Sophie Marceau

I just heard a very funny story about somebody who died yesterday, I'm sorry to say so but it was so absurd that you can't help laughing. And the person that was concerned about that story was laughing too. -Sophie Marceau

But I've never looked at myself as being particularly funny. -Tea Leoni

Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders – not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female. -Jo Brand

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing. -Jo Brand

I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully. -Jo Brand

I think cheese smells funny, but I feel bananas 'are' funny. I'm assuming Swamp told the whole story of the executives seriously asking us to replace the banana with cheese because they thought it was funnier. -Joe Murray

It's funny, I had dinner with my dear friend John Spencer last night and I'm not in the first episode, but he's at the beginning of it and he was telling me about it and I thought this sounds very hot because I think this is definitely the last year of West Wing. -Stockard Channing

What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and we're chatting away, nice to see you. -Anthony Holden

Things that go on at Happy Times are very funny this year, and if you were watching last year, some of the people you saw then as basically extras emerge as real characters in their own right this season, at least to some degree. -Ellen Muth

I don't mean to sound – I don't want it to come out funny, but I don't like show business. I love – I love acting in films. I love it. -Gene Wilder

I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track. But yes, I don't like to get Maudlin. And I have a tendency towards it. -Gene Wilder

I'm not so funny. Gilda was funny. I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. But she was funny. She spent more time worrying about being liked than anything else. -Gene Wilder

Everything is so funny in the movie. The funniest thing about the movie is the transformations they were able to make with the characters. -Joe Viterelli

We have actors from other films, from 'Baywatch,' and so on, and these people are looking exactly the opposite of what they are. The transformations were so smooth, and so funny to watch, it was unbelievable. -Joe Viterelli

I never thought I'd live this long. It sounds funny because I still think of myself as a kid. -Larry Dixon

Hurried and worried until we're buried, and there's no curtain call, Lifes a very funny proposition after all. -George M. Cohan

I know from the middle distance I give off the look of being prolific, which is a funny compliment to receive. -Joseph Epstein

So we used to look for funny songs, and learn them and play them. And we used to play them in pubs. -Neil Innes

It was kind of scary because working with Woody Allen becomes sort of a big deal in your mind. He directs in that Woody Allen character some of the time – he has these idiosyncrasies that are really charming and funny. -Radha Mitchell

I value comedy. I value somebody who can be funny. -James L. Brooks

The Islam of the 18th, 19th and first half of the 20th century was a poor thing. Nobody bothered about it. Islam was that funny sort of pure system of beliefs that depressed people in the Middle East held as their religion. -John Keegan

It's funny; we never had anything like credibility. Even though we all have some sort of punk-rock background, but so what? I really don't care about that. What's credibility anyway? Who has credibility? -Mark McGrath

It was funny actually because that was still during the time we were dating. He would get all these calls because supposedly before we broke up, we had already broken up in the trades, in the rags or whatever. -Rosario Dawson

I think a lot comes from having the experience of doing stand-up comedy. It allows you to figure out the psychology of an audience; what things are funny and not. -Keenen Ivory Wayans

I'm not on all the time. I like to have fun and be funny, but I'm much more of a thinker. -Keenen Ivory Wayans

I awake with a not entirely sickened knowledge that I am merely young again and in a funny way at peace, an observer who is aware of time's chariot, aware that some metamorphosis has occurred. -Harold Brodkey

You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny. -Steve Irwin

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom. -Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Since the goal of my programs is to show audiences how humor can both help them heal as well as deal with not-so-funny stuff, I decided to discuss the events of the previous week, the pain all of us were feeling, and how humor and some laughter might be beneficial. -Allen Klein

This is funny because I just had a job over the summer for VH1, a project I did called Strange Frequency where I got to play a Goth rock band singer. -Charisma Carpenter

So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been going on in my life. -Piper Perabo

I love the script and I just thought it was a great role. Like I say, it's like this – the script is like this sad, funny, desperate love song to the lost American man. -Oliver Platt

Chevy Chase and Bill Murray – we thought those guys were funny. We love Bill Murray, but we didn't think they were right for Airplane! because it would step on the joke if there was a known comedian. -David Zucker

I don't think there has been any increase in sophistication in the audience. When people are aware of a concept that's easy to understand, and there's an actor who will attract them to the theater and it's a movie that's funny three-quarters of the time, it will be successful. -David Zucker

I think that came out of watching all those serious movies for all that time. If you watch a movie like Zero Hour, Sterling Hayden is pretty funny, and so are the guys in the cockpit. -David Zucker

I've always thought those guys are really funny. And I love Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin and Mary. -David Zucker

The only guaranteed way to make something not very funny is to make it vague. -Thomas Lennon

It's a funny thing, but today the Titanic is probably much more – that is people are much more aware of it than they were in 1954, when I was doing my research. -Walter Lord

I wish I had a funny story. -Leslie Easterbrook

It's funny how you call me a celebrity. Oh man. -Steven Hill

I had to audition for the part of Jnior, and I wanted the role terribly because I knew it was a great character. This guy is a wonderful, funny, mean old guy. -Dominic Chianese

The anger that Uncle Junior has comes from my background. My father was the son of an Italian immigrant, and I've seen the fire of the Italian temperament. It can be explosive sometimes in ways that are both funny and tragic. -Dominic Chianese

What's funny is my husband doesn't have any tattoos at all, so he must be the very conservative one. -Ashley Scott

I think I have a dark view of the world. I have to make everything funny, otherwise it all seems so sad. -Moon Unit Zappa

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life. -Jimi Hendrix

I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house. -Anthony Anderson

It's sort of an action flick. You can't be that funny trying to steal diamonds. -Anthony Anderson

I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who just happens to be funny on occasion. -Anthony Anderson

You didn't want to laugh, did you? It wasn't very funny, was it? -Graham Kennedy

Plus, I love comic writing. Nothing satisfies me more than finding a funny way to phrase something. -Michael Pollan

Memory is funny. Once you hit a vein the problem is not how to remember but how to control the flow. -Tobias Wolff

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. -Mitch Hedberg

Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny! -Mitch Hedberg

It is one thing to go on stage and be funny or be in a good place in your career, but for a woman, actually facing the elements in a physical way is a very powerful thing. -Pamela Stephenson

I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature. -Patty Duke

You have to understand the tone of the movie, because if it's supposed to be funny, it can be funny violent like the Home Alone stuff, but you have to really understand the tone of what you're doing and make the action work for that and for the character. -David R. Ellis

Robert Altman's 'Nashville' is my all-time favorite film because it covers all the bases – it's original, moving, and has something to say, but also funny and incredibly entertaining. -Douglas Wood

And of course Marc Cherry heightens it and makes it hilarious. But there's so many universal themes in the show, and he made it so funny. We knew he was onto something if he could keep it up and, thankfully, he did. -James Denton

The promos with all of the beautiful women probably attracted some men, but the mystery story line is pretty cool. It's got that dark edge, and people will watch anything funny. -James Denton

Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not. -James Lipton

I had heard before that there were rumors I was gay. It's funny. My cousin gets his hair cut at this place, and one of the guys there told him that Scott Wolf was gay. He didn't realize that he was my cousin. -Scott Wolf

But a funny thing happened four years later. I was invited to play for an alumni team against the Red Wings. -Ted Lindsay

When Frank the Pug is singing I Will Survive, the only reason it's funny is that Will is in that shot trying not to get angry. A shot of a dog singing I Will Survive on its own will not get a laugh. -Barry Sonnenfeld

You know I'm an actress, not just a funny lady. -Doris Roberts

We sat down and told stories that happened to us in our childhood, to our children. They were all basically based on the truth. These stories were funny and poignant to us. They just took off. These are all stories from my life. -Howie Mandel

A funny thing happened on the way to the election – I got to the Senate first. -Pierre Salinger

John Ford was so funny that I couldn't wait to go to work in the morning. -Richard Widmark

Actually, the funny thing is, after all these years, I've got all these new songs to learn for the show we're doing at Joe's Pub, so it's kind of fun to get down and rehearse new things, and also rethink some of the older songs, how we're going to do them. -Lesley Gore

I liked getting the best villain award. I thought that was funny. -Stephen Dorff

Music is more difficult – try naming a political band. The Dead Kennedys. The Dead Kennedys are political, but they are more funny than they are political. -Thom Yorke

Sometimes you don't want to be a slapstick clown in order to convey a funny perception of the world. -Tina Weymouth

On the stage you're there, it's live. There's a beginning, a middle, an end. When something is funny you hear it right away. -Theodore Bikel

Well, I did Marlene 15 years ago and that's in the style. It's somehow similar and not similar because Marlene was much more aggressive, funny and sad. -Maximilian Schell

You put funny people in funny costumes and paint them green and we could talk about anything we wanted to, because that was the only thing that fascinated Gene about this particular genre. -Majel Barrett

You go through at least the first two years of Star Trek and you find some amazing stuff. Everything that was going on Gene put into the series. He just put strange costumes on the actors and painted them funny colours and left the same situation in. -Majel Barrett

You asked what is the secret of a really good sketch. And it is a sketch is a small play. It's got a beginning, and a middle and an end. It should have a plot; it should have the characters, conflict. It is a little play. And in it, will be funny stuff. -Harvey Korman

It's to paint directly on the canvas without any funny business, as it were, and I use almost pure turpentine to start with, adding oil as I go along until the medium becomes pure oil. I use as little oil as I can possibly help, and that's my method. -Edward Hopper

Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody. -Florenz Ziegfeld

A good actor is someone who knows how to take the part and make it real and make it honest and be effective in it. If it's in a funny movie and, as long as they are cast in an appropriate way, humor will come from it. -Ivan Reitman

Movies either work or they don't work and they're either funny or they're not and we work very hard. To achieve that kind of work is really kind of delicate stitching. -Ivan Reitman

Even when I begin with a situation that's basically funny or sad, I like to keep poking around in it. I like to get into the middle of a relationship, to explore the subtle places. -Paul Mazursky

We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again. -Sheena Easton

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny. -Bobby Darin

Funny is funny is funny. -Bob Newhart

But it was this tough little character part that I was playing, a very funny little guy that I invented over a weekend, because I realized I was not contributing to the humor of this thing. And I had to do something. -Dabney Coleman

But movies as much as anything developed what I thought was right and wrong, what was honorable, what wasn't, what was funny what wasn't… what had some depth to it, what didn't. -Dabney Coleman

Memories are doing funny things to us. -Milos Forman

It's a funny thing about me. I don't have any interest in food most of the time now, although when I was a kid I was always hungry. -Alan Ladd

When something is truly funny, it's funny all the time. -Cloris Leachman

No, no, I was only funny on stage, really. I, I, think I was funny as a person toward my classmates when I was very young. You know, when I was a child, up to about the age of 12. -Rowan Atkinson

The funny thing is, people's perceptions of what a song is about is usually wrong a majority of the time. But they're still going to read what they want to into it. -Vince Gill

I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill. -Charlie Sheen

The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining. -Kevin Nealon

It's funny, we all really, really got along. I don't know how it was in years past but this year, I was really with a good group of people. No one tried to sabotage each other or steal the other ones moments. -LaToya London

I was also lucky to play for an owner, Bud Selig, who truly cared about his players. He'd call me into his office once in a while when he knew things weren't going so well. And it's funny. Every time I left there I always felt like something good was about to happen. -Robin Yount

If I'm in something funny, I like to try and find some kind of serious line in it that people can relate to. -Ron Livingston

I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny. -Nora Dunn

When I'm with my friends I'm funny, but I don't feel like I'm a funny clown. -Nora Dunn

If I ever do anything, it actually might be some fantasy elf thing or even some cute, funny thing. Just to do something a little bit out of the ordinary. I've done my superhero gig. -Todd McFarlane

I don't think know if anything's going to translate anywhere. You're making a movie, you hope it's going to be funny, you can't think about how it's going to go over. -Ben Stiller

I don't think the public is dying to see me necessarily be funny all the time. -Ben Stiller

I love New York. I was sad, depressed and incredibly moved by our fellow countrymen and what they've done. I wanted to give people a chance to see something funny, have a distraction. -Ben Stiller

Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it. -Ben Stiller

It's funny because it's funny. -David Spade

I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking. -Joe Rogan

I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way. -Joe Rogan

It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks. -Joe Rogan

That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard. -Joe Rogan

The audience changes every night. You're the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh. -Joe Rogan

The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time. -Joe Rogan

These days, rock 'n' roll is much more about rock than about roll. I don't do rock. But I'm interested in that roll part, because that's the funny little bit that makes it hip. -Nick Lowe

People don't realize that I'm really funny and I'm an excellent bridge player. -Sheryl Crow

So, deadpan I think just means not acknowledging for one second that you think that this is funny and clever. -Patrick Warburton

My dad loved to laugh. He was very funny and very silly. -Mike Myers

Europe is scooters. Europe is five young people on one bench sharing a chocolate bar. Their idea of entertainment and fun is so much different than ours, which is exactly why a movie about them would be funny. -Mike Myers

But as far as being popular, yeah, I think Dave Barry is really funny. -Jonathan Franzen

I don't need to convince anybody that I know kung fu, but maybe somebody needs to know that I really can act, without doing a Chinese accent or a funny walk. -David Carradine

It's funny, though, because when I first started going to races after we met, I was extremely nervous. It's like being backstage and hoping you don't trip over something or break an amp or accidentally speak into a live microphone, so I was really hesitant. -Ashley Judd

Very often, I don't make it through moments of recording because it is genuinely funny and absolutely ridiculous that a 60-year-old grown man is making these noises. -David Ogden Stiers

I had spent many years before I was 31 hearing people tell me, Oh Man, you're so funny, you need to be in television. But that and a quarter won't get you on a bus. -Chi McBride

I just think that it's such a good show and timeless and still very funny, and that just makes me happy to have that whole first season in one concentrated space for people to enjoy so that it's not hit and miss trying to find it in syndication always. -Jenna Elfman

I'm half Jewish, I'm half black, I look in-between. I dress funny. I play all these different styles of music on one record. It's like, What is he doing? -Lenny Kravitz

I need to be cheered up a lot. I think funny people are people who need to be cheered up. -Lynda Barry

I listen like mad to any conversation taking place next to me just trying to hear why this is funny. Women's restrooms are especially great. I wash my hands twice waiting for people to come in and start talking. -Lynda Barry

I just couldn't go back to Suddenly Susan after David Strickland's suicide. I didn't see how we could make the show light and funny any more. -Judd Nelson

I am so like Donna it's funny. And most of my friends are guys too. -Laura Prepon

That's something – you laugh about Eminem… It's funny, man, because I didn't like him when he first came out, ya know. It seemed like a big joke. But I think the guy's for real, and I like his lyrics! -Alan Vega

Is it spoken word? Kinda, but that's a weird area. Is it comedy? Well, it's funny but no, it's not comedy. -Bruce McCulloch

You know, funny is this weird word for me. I hear is so many times it has no meaning anymore. -Bruce McCulloch

They're great girls. They're very funny, they're very smart, they're fun to be with. They're very lively, as I think people can tell. And you know, they're very confident girls. -Laura Bush

Hemingway seems to be in a funny position. People nowadays can't identify with him closely as a member of their own generation, and he isn't yet historical. -Leslie Fiedler

I am always drawn to men that are funny. I do not know why. But I am always drawn to people that are struggling with parts of themselves… But it's like in the end, there has to be confidence. -Vanessa Carlton

I think the pattern of my essays is, A funny thing happened to me on my way through Finnegans Wake. -Leslie Fiedler

I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things. -Todd Barry

It's funny to be a critic. -Leslie Fiedler

You know, Stephen says, in the movies no one ever goes to the bathroom. They shave, they brush their teeth. He goes right at this sort of funny taboo we have about the bathroom, and he turned it into this nightmare, you know, your worst fear of what's in there. -Lawrence Kasdan

The reason I turn down 99% of a hundred, I mean a thousand, scripts is because romantic comedies are often very romantic but seldom very funny. -Hugh Grant

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful. -Drew Carey

Johnny Rotten. He's a big fan of mine. I used to see him out in the audience in England and he'd stand up and holler. He's funny. Smart too, and a nice guy. Don't think he's a jerk because he isn't. -Captain Beefheart

Kyle Baker's work is really funny, but it's also got a very clear vision. -Bill Sienkiewicz

People just don't laugh when their family is violated, and you don't shrug it off. You band together and you defend together. It's a funny, primitive instinct. -Phillip Noyce

Yes, I see the Mobile Base System really is the shoulder of the arm. The arm is right there, like a human arm. It's really funny to look at the similarities between a human arm and the Canadian robotics arm. -Philippe Perrin

I play a female Indiana Jones, a professor who hunts down precious objects, like a bowl that belonged to the Buddha. They tailored the role to me: I wanted to be smart, funny, and to kick some ass. -Tia Carrere

No one ever thought Clint Eastwood was funny, but he was. -Annie Leibovitz

I always approach comedy roles pretending they aren't funny. -Brendan Fraser

It's funny, as you live through something you're not aware of it. -Maya Lin

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day. -Seth MacFarlane

Chris Elliott could read the phonebook and he's funny. -Seth MacFarlane

You gotta keep the funny intact. -Seth MacFarlane

I was always telling everybody that I could be funny. -Sally Kellerman

When I was a kid, there was no distinction between a movie about old people or young people. It was either funny or not. It was either entertaining or not. It was either exciting or not. It was either thrilling or not. -Joseph Bologna

So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work. -Joseph Bologna

Well what's funny is, again, people say they believed what was going on, but again, Bob's hands are about three times bigger than his feet. So these are very caricatured. -Brad Bird

I'm a sucker for a funny script. And then, as soon as I don't wanna be, one comes along and grabs me. -Meg Ryan

I would do it today because the thing that appealed to me was not necessarily the mechanics of the robot, but it was his personality and how funny and charming he was. -John Badham

I got to draw monsters, robots and write funny stories. I loved doing that stuff and working with the actors. But it got to be less and less that stuff and more about trying to be everywhere and not being able to do one thing very enjoyably. -Jhonen Vasquez

After doing Johnny I wanted to just do something, I wouldn't say innocent, but to not have any care in the world. Lots of setups and horrible happenings but its funny. -Jhonen Vasquez

I always tell people that to be the funny person in a Steve Martin movie is like getting a call that Keith Moon wants you to play drums on his record. He should be playing drums on his record. -Jason Schwartzman

I think Chris Rock at the Oscars was a great example. I thought that was intellectually hilarious. The Gap starts a war with Banana Republic… That to me was funny. -Christopher Meloni

I love sketch comedy. My real goal is to do something with Albert Brooks. That would be my fantasy. I stay up night and day thinking up stuff he might find funny. -Illeana Douglas

At boarding school you had to wear your name across your chest and your back, and obviously I had a pretty funny name. It wasn't Brown or Smith or Hughes. -Diane Cilento

I'm a classic example of all humorists – only funny when I'm working. -Peter Sellers

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world. -Artie Lange

My little dog, he did not get ill. It is so funny that people get ill on a boat and dogs do not. -Anna Held

It's so funny whenever things come full circle. -Swoosie Kurtz

I love the part of Hector as it takes me back to playing eccentric parts. He is a funny character, which is fine by me as I've been playing for laughs for decades now! It's lovely to get a laugh; it's the best thing in the world! -Richard Briers

I have a funny name. -Pia Zadora

The funny thing is, strangers still seem to feel comfortable coming up to me and saying things, but now usually it's because they recognize me, and they say nice things. -Todd Solondz

So far, at least, I haven't found a way to tell my kind of stories without making them both sad and funny. -Todd Solondz

Since it's based on my parents, it's more emotionally close to me than some of my more surreal plays. And then I like the balance of the comic and the sad. It should play as funny, but you should care about the characters and feel sad for them. -Christopher Durang

They did that little thing on South Park, and they mentioned my name and had a character of me judging a Halloween contest. It was really funny. That made me the coolest aunt on earth. -Tina Yothers

There's a constant flow of child actors. It's kind of funny to watch the new crew come through. I think, You poor little things. You're going to have to struggle for a long time. -Tina Yothers

I'm not a very serious person. You know how they say that clowns are very funny in public and are really sad at home? I'm really kind of stupid at home and more serious in public. -Roland Joffe

One thing the blues ain't, is funny. -Stephen Stills

We have never been strictly political, only strictly funny. -Adrian Edmondson

In comedy, though, it's good to get feedback from the audience about what they find funny. -Bobby Farrelly

Every movie I do, or when I'm on the sketch comedy show, I don't really get into it until I have an outfit or something funny with my head or face or something. -Kel Mitchell

I do not like onions. It's so funny because I am probably one of the least picky eaters ever. Pretty much any type of new food, I'll try it, I'll eat it. But onions, and pork. Pork and onions. -Stacie Orrico

Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore. -Wavy Gravy

I just like the continue doing what I've been doing. A melange of funny, straight drama, television, movies, a little theater here and there wouldn't hurt. So if I can keep doing that, I'll be a very happy person. -Mary Tyler Moore

Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed. -Neil Gaiman

It's funny that it all becomes about clothes. It's bizarre. You work your butt off and then you win an award and it's all about your dress. You can't get away from it. -Reese Witherspoon

It's funny that there was so much disturbance about having a Catholic in the White House with Kennedy, and when we finally get a religion in the White House that's causing a lot of conflicts, and concerns, and disturbances for a lot of people, it's in the Bush Administration. -Roger Ebert

About 100 things that your kid will do that will surprise you and break your heart and it will be a combination of fact based therapy, medically advised kinds of passages accompanied by celebrity anecdotes and just some funny stuff to lighten the load. -Alan Thicke

But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone. -Garry Shandling

Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders. -Garry Shandling

Here's the thing – I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids. -Garry Shandling

I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to have fun and I'm a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front. -Garry Shandling

You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't. -Garry Shandling

For years I used to bore my wife over lunch with stories about funny incidents. -James Herriot

I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, it's OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink. -Karl Lagerfeld

It's only I have seen enough of it and the funny thing is now, I know that I'm skinny, because I know there are even smaller clothes in the store. I think I'm big, when I was big, I never thought about it. -Karl Lagerfeld

It's funny, when I'm not on the road or doing stuff with Bad Company – or whatever- I've always written songs galore… a lot of stuff people don't even hear. -Mick Ralphs

The parrot's so funny. He imitates me and I don't even realize he's doing it. I'm walking around the house talking to myself and whistling and the next day he's said something I've said… it's scary you know? -Mick Ralphs

I remember watching Gilda Radner when I was a kid and everyone thought she was so funny and no one ever said that she was a funny woman, she was just funny. -Rachel Dratch

If you have an impulse, not if you're going to ruin someone elses' scene, if you have an impulse of a funny little add-on or taking something in a weird direction, try it. -Rachel Dratch

Don't remember me as too nice or beautiful or funny, because then you'll be disappointed. -Celia Johnson

I don't think just funny is enough on Broadway. -Don Knotts

It's funny to have become an elegant skier now. But my drive is still the same. -Hermann Maier

Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one. -Jimmy Fallon

I'm the youngest in my family, and everyone is very funny, and I was always trying to keep up with them. I just loved making people laugh. -Lisa Kudrow

Shirley MacLaine said, You're so funny, then gave me a hug. Everything went white. I couldn't hear, I couldn't see. I thought I was going to pass out. -Lisa Kudrow

Scream was great for what it was. For a horror film, it was intelligent, it was funny, it took a laugh at itself. -Neve Campbell

Kids cannot follow stories. They don't know what the hell is going on in a cartoon. They like to see funny visual things happening. -John Kricfalusi

Some of the pictures I must say every now and then I just think are going to be funny. When it gets that much, you might as well just pull out all the stops and make it more of a burlesque. -Martin Mull

My vanity is not dead. I laugh when I see pictures of myself as I am now-maybe so I won't cry, but just because it is really funny how much I've changed. -Michael Zaslow

I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece. -Rob Corddry

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously. -Rob Corddry

It's so funny, because right now I'm very tired and my brains a little dead, I tend to get very focused and serious. So, I'm probably coming off a lot more like Scully right now. -Gillian Anderson

A lot of the tabloid stories are written so well, they're very clever and very funny. But you have to focus on what's really important and not read them – don't dive into it and don't get caught up in it. -Calista Flockhart

It's so funny how my name has always been such a big deal. When I was growing up, my family was always moving. I had to meet new people all the time. And they'd laugh. -Calista Flockhart

Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good. -Howard Stern

I guess now that I think back, I used to play priest and be a funny priest. I don't know, I grew up in such a Catholic family that I kind of liked to test the boundaries a little bit and I think I had fun watching my mom laugh. -Jenny McCarthy

And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that's funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there's all kinds of advantages to it. -Al Franken

I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you. -Patton Oswalt

Yeah, there were a few years in the early nineties where I really began to hate what was valued as funny and just sort of what was valued in stand-up, period. -Patton Oswalt

I wasn't very funny or flashy, I was kind of boring. -Katie Holmes

Baldwin is sort of getting to be a bit funny. I don't know what happened, but a few years ago they suddenly went bankrupt and Gibson bought the whole outfit. Since then they haven't seemed to be doing an awfully good job of providing pianos. -Marian McPartland

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny. -Mark Russell

It's a funny show. The characters are surprisingly likable, given how ugly they are. We've got this huge cast of characters that we can move around. And over the last few seasons, we've explored some of the secondary characters' personal lives a bit more. -Matt Groening

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff. -Matt Groening

Sometimes people get mad at The Simpsons' subversive story telling, but there's another message in there, which is a celebration of making wild, funny stories. -Matt Groening

I write about wounds, the eternal treasons of life. It's not very funny, but it's sincere. My commitment is to sincerity. -Tahar Ben Jelloun

In Italy, I had an Afro, and a lot of the kids came up and felt my hair. It really was funny. I wish I had understood Italian. -Sugar Ray Leonard

I think that the episodes are like mini horror films really; the characters make bad decisions early on and these things just snowball for them and get worse and worse. And that's what I find funny. -Dave Rowntree

And when you're on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it's funny – and you have no way of finding out. -Denis Norden

I used to like writing for comedians – I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny. -Denis Norden

I know some people say I can be funny. But there is always a deeper meaning to what I say. I am a socialist at heart and have the interests of the poor in mind. When people see how I manage to work my way out of tough situations, it gives them hope in their own life. -Lalu Prasad Yadav

I come from a background of hanging out with friends and shooting videos with them, with funny stuff coming out of the group. I guess we got the same charge jocks get out of sports. -Michael Patrick Jann

I read the script for Wonder Boys, and I said that was almost perfect, it was so classy, cool and funny. It's a really specific thing. We stuck to it, it turned out good and a lot of people liked it. -Robert Downey, Jr.

But I think Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang really got that thing where, if a movie reads really funny and then has some dramatic or violent or sinister stuff in it, you can't forget that primarily it has to be even funnier than you read it or that other stuff doesn't work. -Robert Downey, Jr.

Her friends say she is very funny. At a family dinner, she stood to go, and the footman very properly pulled her chair away. At that moment I asked her a question and she sat down again, except there was no chair. Everyone, including the Queen, laughed and laughed. -Prince Andrew

I love playing a dad. It's hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny. -Peter Gallagher

I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny. -Martin Short

David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late '80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. He's a very cool, hip guy. This film, let's face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine he'd find it funny. -Martin Short

It's funny how the hippies and the punks tried to get rid of the conservatives, but they always seem to get the upper hand in the end. -Bjork

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny. -Dane Cook

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny. -Dane Cook

I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right. -Billy Crystal

Books are funny little portable pieces of thought. -Susan Sontag

I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man. -Frank Carson

When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.' -Susan Sarandon

Only man has dignity; only man, therefore, can be funny. -Ronald Knox

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious. -Bill Hicks

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. -Billy Wilder

From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do. -Billy Crystal

It's funny how a chubby kid can just be having fun, and people call it entertainment! -Garth Brooks

I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses. -Stephen King

I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell? -Andy Warhol

I like smart, funny, self-deprecating men. -Jules Asner

Comedy is ridiculously hard. And if the rhythm is not right, if the music or the line is not right, it's not funny. -Julianne Moore

I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said. -Lyn Nofziger

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money? -Ogden Nash

It's funny; I actually made poorer decisions when I sobered up then when I was screwed up. -Corey Feldman

It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to. -J. D. Salinger

I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand. -Leonardo DiCaprio

One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute. -William Feather

If you can be funny, it means you're intelligent. Your brain is working fast. -Amber Valletta

It's funny that until I actually met my husband, I never thought I'd get married. -Regina King

Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown. -Fanny Brice

But I believe that there are marriages where you can have your pool table and she can have her scrapbooking room or garden or whatever it is. But when everyone has what they want, it's not funny. There's no conflict. -Brad Garrett

It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son. -Gertrude Stein

It usually takes two people a little while to learn where the funny buttons are and testy buttons are. -Matt Lauer

To me, the musical is best when it's a musical comedy. So if you have a very, very funny show, and very good, funny songs, that's what the musical does best. -Eric Idle

It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger. -Gertrude Stein

There's a story everywhere. Being bored to death someplace is basically a funny proposition. What you have to watch out for is you don't write a boring story about a boring place. -Tim Cahill

I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh. -D. L. Hughley

That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't. -Jimmy Kimmel

When I say something untrue on the air, I mean for it to be transparently untrue. I assume people know when I'm just saying something for effect. Or to be funny. -Ira Glass

I like the idea of being out there regularly with an audience and with a funny gang of people. That's what I grew up with – doing television, doing shows every week. -Eric Idle

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. -Ernest Hemingway

It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing. -Zora Neale Hurston

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave. -Quentin Crisp

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it's just wonderful. -Francois Truffaut

It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music. -Tom Petty

And there's a visceral fun in watching Team America and making it, like taking a puppet and throwing it against the wall. Because it's not CG, there's something funny about it. -Matt Stone

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the White House. -Adlai Stevenson II

Do you know anything that in all its innocence is more humiliating than the funny pages of a Sunday newspaper in America? -Johan Huizinga

I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go. -Gertrude Stein

So, I'm the Eighth Wonder of the World. It's flattering and very, very funny. -Eva Longoria

It's a required part of your film history to know who Woody is. His movies are so wonderful, and not just funny but so insightful about human behavior. -Scarlett Johansson

Eddie Drake is sort of this loose cannon, funny, edgy guy, who has this really foolish, foolish mustache. -Lee Tergesen

I have an older sister named Haley and she wanted to be an actress. So I wanted to be an actress. It's really funny the way that some people don't give kids enough credit for like really being driven, and really wanting to do things so badly. -Hilary Duff

I found out a long time ago that if I didn't have a good story for a song, I could just make one up! Now it seems over half the stories in my show are made up. The funny thing is, those seem to be the ones that resonate the most with the audiences. -Ronny Cox

One time I went into a restroom and a girl followed me in. I signed an autograph for her in the sink. It was pretty funny because she was in a guy's restroom and she wasn't embarrassed at all. -Zac Efron

This is going to sound really funny. I have a poster of Zac Efron on my wall! I think every girl has a poster of him in their room so, why not join the club! -Vanessa Hudgens

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up. -Dan Castellaneta

We want to be funny. We want to make people laugh… We'll do whatever it takes. -Colin Mochrie

I feel for Veronica Mars so much when I'm watching at home. It is a wonderful story. The writing is consistently funny, biting, charming, heart-wrenching, etc. I also like the look of it. The cinematography – different from any other show. -Jason Dohring

Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke. -John Krasinski

Boston is actually the capital of the world. You didn't know that? We breed smart-ass, quippy, funny people. Not that I'm one of them. I just sorta sneaked in under the radar. -John Krasinski

I think we're the only jokeless show on television. I mean really, we have no setups and no punch lines. It's not a joke show. There are funny lines and funny moments but again the comedy is born of the human experience and awkward pauses are a great part of what it is to be human. -Rainn Wilson

I love nerds. Comic-Con junkies are the tastemakers of tomorrow. Isn't that funny? The tables have turned. -Kristen Bell

I was lucky. My family is wonderful. And it's funny, because most of my best friends come from very large families. So it always felt as if I had lots of siblings, though in the end I had to leave them and go home. I kind of got the best of both worlds as a kid. -Sophia Bush

Steve Martin is one of the most intelligent, well-read human beings that I've ever come across. He is equally as funny off screen as he is on. But he also has a very intellectual side, and he's a really nice human being. We actually become good friends. -Anthony LaPaglia

Yeah, it's funny, working on a show with as large a cast as we have here, your work gets sort of compartmentalized. There's still about half the cast that I've never had a scene with but I have missed working with Terry. -Michael Emerson

I've played villains on stage – you know, the Iagos and so on – but I think of myself as a funny person. I mostly did comedies before I did TV work. -Michael Emerson

I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation. -Megan Fox

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny. -Jim Carrey

There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off. -Douglas Coupland

I had gotten to a place where I truly believed everything I was called: 'not sexy,' 'not funny,' 'too intense,' desperate.' All those labels they gave me, I took them because there wasn't a trace of my true self left. -Naomi Watts

Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world – and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy – a mixture of the two would be hot. -Justin Bieber

I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice – and I like to eat. -Paris Hilton

I went swimming the other day and my wife was watching and she said, 'You know, it's funny, it's when you've got no clothes on, no one recognizes you.' I said, 'What are you saying? That I should do more love scenes?' -Eddie Marsan

Kids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more words they can comprehend about a funny story or a joke, the more they'll enjoy it. -Brian P. Cleary

People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' – if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway. -Tim Vine

What's David's role? David looks good, that's what David does. David looks good, and I'm the funny one, that's what I hear constantly. But I keep telling him that looks fade. -Victoria Beckham

I've always been part of comedy. One of the things about our family was that if we were reasonably funny with each other, particularly my two brothers and myself, when my father was upset with something you'd want to make sure in some way you made him laugh. Because when he didn't laugh, you were in trouble! -Leslie Nielsen

It's funny that people think because you don't have a movie or record out, you disappear into a frozen chamber someplace. They think you're dead when you're not in the public eye. -Jason Schwartzman

The shooting of the guns, that was kind of funny, because rolling a cigarette and shooting a gun aren't like normal things for a 13-year old girl! -Hailee Steinfeld

I think I would say 'The King's Speech' is surprisingly funny, in fact the audiences in London, Toronto, LA, New York commented there's more laughter in this film than in most comedies, while it is also a moving tear-jerker with an uplifting ending. -Tom Hooper

It's funny because a lot of people that know me as a dancer, don't know that I'm a singer, and a lot of people that know I can sing don't know I can dance. And so, I feel like at some point I have to show them both and really be able to display it and showcase it, and put that out there. -Naima Adedapo

You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people. -Donald Trump

Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way. -Tom Hiddleston

I had to act in a school play when I was about ten years old. I really didn't want to do it. But everyone had to do it so I didn't have a choice. A talent agent came and watched it and later gave me some work. It's funny because I'd always known that I wanted a movie career. I just didn't think that I would be in the movies. -Kristen Stewart

If you can find the line between sympathetic and creepy, you have reached a very funny area. -Jason Segel

The British are so funny. It's like they can't believe I lived in Hackney. 'You could live in Bondi Beach. Why would you want to live in 'Ackney?' But Hackney's fantastic. I'm serious. There are so many artists there. I loved the markets, the parks, the pubs, the diversity. It was a cultural melting-pot. -Rose Byrne

I find it very easy playing Bond. I think he's hilarious. He gets himself into some extraordinarily funny situations. -Daniel Craig

I'm opening up my heart to the idea of dating. It's funny – my friends would always come to me for romantic advice. I know nothing, and things have changed since I was dating in high school! I'm really trying hard to spend this time working on myself. -Olivia Wilde

I think 'Saturday Night Live', starting in the 1970s, really gave women an outlet to be funny. A lot of those women went on to have film careers, from Kristen Wiig now to Tina Fey and Gilda Radner. -Emma Stone

My parents are both very funny but they're also relatively soft-spoken, normal human beings while I'm just a lunatic. I don't know where this loud, ballsy, hammy ridiculousness came from. I'm just glad I followed my goals and my parents did too. It's not like we even had a plan when I dragged my mom to Los Angeles. -Emma Stone

At the end of the day it's got to be a good movie, it's got to be a funny movie, and it's got to make people think, 'Hey, I couldn't have spent my time any better.' -Tom Hanks

Light and funny has a more compelling quality when you're younger. But I haven't abandoned the genre: I love falling down; I love Lucille Ball. It's just that a lot of those stories revolve around problems that I can't convincingly portray at this age. -Julia Roberts

I think it's great to see how they've grown up, not just as actors but as people. They're still very much the same kids that I met many years ago. They've grown up and they are funny and wicked and naughty and bright, and I think as actors their work is just getting better and better. They've blossomed. -David Heyman

I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything. -Maggie Smith

Everyone comes up to me saying, 'Cooee, Julie! Hello!' as if I know them. Of course I don't bloody know them. Am I flummoxed by it? Sometimes. I think, 'Ooh, love, go easy.' For a time, I did feel this pressure that I had to be funny, but it passes. -Julie Walters

Oh all the time when Victoria Wood and I did our series. There were people asking 'Can women be funny?' People still ask that. It's like asking: 'Can women breathe in and out?' -Julie Walters

I was the little, funny one. I felt I was the child among grown women. -Julie Walters

Sometimes, the other characters are too normal and then you start to be brought back to reality but then Luna shows up and she is just so funny and cool and honest and slightly mad and she's all that matters. She is 100% true. She puts on no shows, because she is so comfortable with herself. -Evanna Lynch

People like her because she's like a breath of fresh air. Because in the fifth book it gets so dark and Harry's always cross and then every time Luna comes in all the tension goes and she makes you laugh because she's so funny and really honest. I don't know how much I'm like her, there are some similarities but I'm more determined than her. -Evanna Lynch

I heard that people were really interested in the new haircut, which I think is so funny. Great haircut, I really like it. It goes great with the time period. And I was super, super, super-happy to have my bangs swept to the side rather than straight in front of me, which I dealt with for three seasons. I'm very, very much done with that. -Elisabeth Moss

Like with 'Parks and Recreation,' it's so much fun because the people writing it are funny and they're open and you just go in there and have a good time. It's pretty much the easiest job I've ever had. -Aziz Ansari

I was a hop-around. I hung out with the rockabilly crew, the guys who were trying to be rappers, the funny kids. -Katy Perry

I wanted to be that quirky girl who writes funny songs that still have meaning. -Katy Perry

We made satires of everything – news broadcasts and TV shows that we watched. When I look at them now, they are totally amateurish, but I find it quite remarkable that we were so skeptical of the world! My parents watched them and thought they were funny; they really encouraged us. -Lev Yilmaz

Design is a funny word. Some people think design means how it looks. But of course, if you dig deeper, it's really how it works. -Steve Jobs

I show them the funny part, the silly part, the laughing part, the crazy part and then the really deep, deep part where I'm talking from my heart to these people. Because I've been through everything they've been through. -Richard Simmons

Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that. -Ice Cube

It's funny how people who ain't never been down there can think that America is so fair and that we should be alright. It's funny that the people who have their foot on our neck are telling us, 'Get up. What's wrong with you?' -Ice Cube

I'm not at all funny. I can do dark comedy pretty well, but straight-up comedy, I don't know. I'm much darker. I've been like that since I was 3 years old. -Rooney Mara

If you are a great dramatic actor then you often don't know if people are enjoying your stuff at all because they are sitting there in silence. But with comedy it's a simple premise. If it's funny, people laugh. If it's not, they don't. -Steve Coogan

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny. -Norm MacDonald

Comedy, your funny bone, is formed in childhood. -Paul O'Grady

There are a lot of funny people and a lot of unfunny people. Some of them are women and some of them are dudes. -Lake Bell

I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television. I don't know what it does, it just sucks it away. -Norm MacDonald

I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl. -Norm MacDonald

I am lactose intolerant, and I always thought it was really funny how people who are lactose intolerant continue to eat dairy, because they like it so much. And I find it not acceptable. -Lake Bell

I'm mourning with the rest of the world for the talented, gorgeous, funny, intelligent John Forsythe but my heart is broken for the loss of my dear, dear friend and neighbor. I will miss him terribly. -Cheryl Ladd

The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic, blonde actress with the funny voice. -Joey Lauren Adams

And at the time, it is funny how you can look at something and say, for example with my shoulder injury, when it first happened I said this is the worst thing that could happen to me. Why me, why now? Now I look back and say it was probably the best thing that happened to me. -Drew Brees

Even in the very beginning when she would bump into George Valentine and people would start taking pictures of her, she never thought, 'I'm with George Valentine. I need to get a picture with him.' She's like 'oh that's funny. Everyone's taking pictures!' -Berenice Bejo

I watched a lot of silent directors who were absolutely great like John Ford and Fritz Lang, Tod Browning, and also some very modern directors like The Coen Brothers. The directors take the freedom within their own movies to be melodramatic or funny when they chose to be. They do whatever they want and they don't care about the genre. -Michel Hazanavicius

As young as I look, I think it will still be funny if I played a person who's kind of tortured and hates his life. Kind of like a Larry David-type thing. -Andy Milonakis

Seeing people get messed up never gets un-funny! And there's plenty of ways to do that. -Bam Margera

I would really love to do a musical, I don't know in what capacity but something funny. -Billie Piper

I'm funny at home too, but not deliberately. My wife is usually laughing at me rather than with me. -Daniel Dae Kim

Life is funny and it is interesting how we make it as serious as possible. -Elisha Cuthbert

It's funny, because I did all of these interviews as soon as I had the baby, and they were asking questions, and I really didn't have an idea of anything, because I was so blurry. -Emily Procter

The fans of 'The Hunger Games,' of the book, are very passionate. It's funny: Even at my concerts there are people holding up 'Cinna' signs. -Lenny Kravitz

To all the girls out there who think being funny is not sexy, you are wrong! -Chad Michael Murray

It was always a fantasy of mine growing up – my favorite program was always 'Little House on the Prairie' – so I always wanted to wear those looks. When I was a child, I wouldn't let my mom put me in anything but calico dresses and now… whaddaya know, every day I'm in a calico dress, basically, so it's kind of funny. -Chloe Sevigny

You have a couple of buddies sleep over, and, you know, you play cops and robbers. That I'm getting paid to do it now is kind of funny. -Chris O'Donnell

With Jerry Bruckheimer, you know you'll get your money's worth. You're getting huge action sequences, it's going to be funny, and you know it's going to look great. -Jerry O'Connell

I think of myself as a funny guy but nobody thinks I'm funnier than my daughters. -Jerry O'Connell

We live in a funny time. If you don't go corporate, you can't compete. You're relegated as irrelevant. People used to admire that. -Ethan Hawke

'Lucky' is for laughs, and there's really nothing funny that I'm doing on 'Dexter.' I think more than anything, both comment on the fact that anybody is capable of anything. Just because they are the shy guy in the corner doesn't mean that they are a harmless little bunny. -Colin Hanks

To me, I've never understood why there is any question about are women as funny as men. -Judd Apatow

I wanted to see how funny I could be without making the choice that every 10 minutes something big and visual had to happen. -Judd Apatow

I put on a big show when I write something I think is funny. -Judd Apatow

I got pregnant at 40 by surprise. It's funny, because when we found out we were pregnant, I said, 'Okay, let's experience that.' You just have to just go with it because it's rare. -Julianna Margulies

I'd rather not have a moment when I'm known for my looks; being funny and interesting lasts longer. -Kelly Ripa

When you have an entire amphitheatre of people laughing that way, it makes you feel so funny and it frees you to go further than you probably would. -Kelly Ripa

It's a funny business. I kind of compare it to baseball. I'm always looking for a home run. -Billy Mays

I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way. -Jimmy Carr

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me. -Jimmy Carr

This morning someone sent me a very funny photo of me holding their puppy. We have matching colour jackets. -Luke Treadaway

I follow the most random people on Twitter. I follow famous people like Khloe Kardashian, who surprisingly makes really funny tweets all the time. -Chloe Grace Moretz

When I had my daughter, Louisanna, two and a half years ago, I started recording every funny or sweet thing she said or did on my phone. -Leelee Sobieski

Now when I see something beautiful or funny or sweet, sometimes I reach for my camera, but other times I think, 'I need to let this moment exist. I don't have to capture everything. I just want to experience it.' -Leelee Sobieski

There's been a lot of coming home in the early mornings after funny nights out, having bizarre sandwiches in bed. -Neneh Cherry

I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny. -Don Rickles

You know what's funny to me? Attitude. -Don Rickles

Some people say funny things, but I say things funny. -Don Rickles

Funny is funny. -Don Rickles

In this world, everyone wants to know everything about you, and I think that's funny. -Leighton Meester

It's not common for a woman on television, especially if she's the mom of the family, to be funny. She's usually a straight man or foil. -Martha Plimpton

I watch things that are fun, or funny, or interesting. -Martha Plimpton

My job is mostly to entertain and be funny. -Rosie O'Donnell

The word 'Spanx' was funny. It made people laugh. No one ever forgot it. -Sara Blakely

A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters. -Barbara Corcoran

I'm not very funny! -Kimbra

I was always loud and obnoxious and giggly and funny. -Krysten Ritter

I'm a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys – movie-star guys, where they could help me through it. -LeBron James

It sounds funny, but the 2008 Olympics were something that just kind of happened, and I was lucky they came at a point when I was uninjured and well prepared. As a gymnast, you can't ask for much more. -Shawn Johnson

I have a Dominique Wilkins Hawks jersey that I still wear. That's probably my favorite one. What's funny is that I spend all this time collecting jerseys, and now people are out there collecting mine. -Chris Paul

And write what you love – don't feel pressured to write serious prose if what you like is to be funny. -Cassandra Clare

Lots of models have played mermaids throughout history and it is, kind of, a funny rite of passage. -Gemma Ward

The tricky thing becomes: Do you know yourself well enough to then portray that on screen? And for me, I find that really hard. I'd rather hide behind accents and funny walks. -Joel Edgerton

I tend to play characters that I can infuse with certain kinds of humour. Even the baddest guy can be funny in his own particular way. I want the audience to engage with the character on some deeper level so that they leave the cinema still thinking about him. -Samuel L. Jackson

If you play it straight it's funny – the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious. -Tom Hiddleston

All directors are control freaks and very obsessive. I get the feeling that directors as kids, they all have had a childhood with not too much contact with other kids. They constructed their own reality and they continue to do it. It's a funny breed, directors. -Stellan Skarsgard

If you think something's funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty. -Olivia Munn

I got to play with Nintendo's Wii, yes it's a funny name and not very revolutionary but it was fun whipping your arms around. -Olivia Munn

I was so afraid to even read a paper in front of my classmates. It is very funny because at that point my teachers would never have believed that I could speak in front of an audience of over 2,000 people. -Petra Nemcova

A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right. -Sam Worthington

When you live in a leading lady's body, which I do, you have to constantly prove that you are funny. -Elizabeth Banks

Usually, impersonations come out of something you dig, because you're listening to it over and over. And you kind of start developing… You're really trying to emulate them, then you realize, 'I sound ridiculous doing this. Oh, hey, maybe this is a funny impersonation.' -Alex Borstein

The first time I walked by a crap table, I felt kind of funny. -Carroll Shelby

It's so different when you change your hair color, you're treated so differently. It's a very funny experience. It's fun – I love changing up my hair. -Kate Bosworth

I've never set out to write a funny movie or be a funny comedian as a woman. I am a woman. I don't really have a choice in the matter. My goal is just to be funny. -Maya Rudolph

It's funny, when you become an actor and you're successful, they don't want to talk about acting any more. 'Hey let's talk about that stuff you were fired from.' -Nicholas Brendon

I wear black skinny-fit jeans – I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages, then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great. -Shaun White

It would be pretty funny to see a Beverly Hills white girl with mad rap skills. -Tori Spelling

It's funny how intimate it feels to get a text. -Sophie Ellis-Bextor

I moved to New York to do theater, and I got cast in a play that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. I did a movie that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. -Steve Zahn

It's funny – in elementary school, I went by Amber. I never liked Tiffani. -Tiffani Thiessen

When I'm not acting, I try to be normal, play golf, play hockey. It's funny because you're in this little bubble when you're working – you don't read books, you don't really keep up with the news, you're just living that life. -Taylor Kitsch

With Portlandia, I don't think our intention is always to find something funny. Sometimes the humor comes from taking something really seriously. We're okay with making somebody feel uncomfortable or uneasy. -Carrie Brownstein

Sometimes I want to do something that's really funny and other times I read an indie script that is going to be made for nothing but I want to do it because I think that I can connect with something in the story. -Brittany Snow

I'm so single. It's funny. I'm usually a relationship girl. I love being in love and having a partner in crime. But it's good to be your own partner in crime. God, that makes me sound like I have multiple-personality disorder. -Brittany Snow

I really wanted to find a piano for the farm house. There were so many free pianos on Craigslist, I thought, 'Let's get as many free pianos as we can and stick them all in the barn.' I got eight in a short period of time, only six of which were tunable, but it's still quite funny. -Neko Case

If I could ever be on a Missy Elliott record, I could then die. Missy Elliott, Mary J. Blige – I love hearing them interviewed, I love the way they talk about their art. They're very self-assured, they're funny, they're inviting. I love it. -Neko Case

I feel like if I'm going to give you a book about my dad, then I really want to give you my dad, because he is interesting and he is funny and if you're buying a book about him, I don't want you to have to sit through stuff that's not him. -Justin Halpern

I am the shortest and least funny person in my family. -Heather Donahue

I don't write literary fiction – I write books that are entertaining, but are also, I hope, well-constructed and thoughtful and funny and have things to say about men and women and families and children and life in America today. -Jennifer Weiner

I could party in a cardboard box with people who are funny and don't care. For me, it's really about who I surround myself with, so I just try to always be with hilarious people. -Kesha

I'd love to date somebody cool, fun, funny. -Rihanna

You know, if you play on home soil sometimes funny things can happen and you have that push of the crowd. -Ruud Gullit

The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life. -Seann William Scott

I don't really necessarily think I'm a funny guy, but I like the opportunity to take on something that I don't feel I'm the best at doing. -Seann William Scott

Thing is, I'm a funny actor, but I'm not good at being funny. I'm going to ramble for a second: I'm an actor who can make things funny in the moment, like in stakes or in circumstances or out of character. -Matthew Lillard

I direct with energy. I believe in energy. I think energy is an electric thing in actors. I try to inspire, encourage, and make choices with lots of energy. And truth. I'm big fan of truth and being funny. I like leading 50 people into battle every day. -Matthew Lillard

At school I was very shy. I wasn't funny really. -Michel Gondry

I wish I could be as thin as Jessica Simpson. I think she looks gorgeous! I have had Jessica on my show several times, and I can tell you that girl is genuine and funny with a great self-deprecating sense of humor. -Rachael Ray

I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny. -Paula Deen

It's funny, I listen to friends who talk about back when they were 14, eight, 16, whatever, as if it was yesterday. Me, I've no idea what I did. It's all a blur, I'm afraid. -Catherine McCormack

Jon Stewart hires people that he thinks are funny. That's it. That's the only requirement. -Olivia Munn

It is possible in this world to be pretty and funny and successful all at the same time. -Olivia Munn

I think it's always funny when somebody thinks you're going to do something super sexy and then you don't. -Olivia Munn

I took 'P.S. I Love You' thinking it was going to be a little funny, and I ended up crying every day on that film. -Hilary Swank

People see my impressions as a great skill and I am flattered, but there are things I can't do that everyone else can. I can do funny voices and funny faces but I can't drive. -Matt Lucas

If the worst that happens is that I wake up and see a picture of myself and a headline saying, 'He wasn't very funny last night', then I've got nothing to complain about. -Matt Lucas

I still read the British papers, but I've never been a Royalist, ever. It's funny, there always seems to be much more of a fascination with the Royal Family over here then there does in England. -Paul Bettany

I really loved what I was doing being creative and being funny as a stand-up comedian. -Chris Tucker

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed. -Dave Chappelle

Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go. -Dave Chappelle

The funny thing is, I look at these magazines that make me so insecure and neurotic, but I'm in them! -Heather Graham

I know people will think it's funny because I've done glamour modelling in the past, but I felt embarrassed about my body and just wanted to cover it up. -Jennifer Ellison

I've dated some women who have turned me on to some funny things that are strange for men to actually do, but these things have become part of my process. I think the things I do for my appearance help make me look better. I even colour my hair because I like how it makes me look. -Ryan Seacrest

I'm one of those hovering mothers and I know it's really important to have an independent child, so I'm trying to back off, but it's hard. I love him so much, and he's so funny and cute to me. -Selma Blair

All I want to do is write songs about funny characters I made up. -Wes Borland

I love being a dad, it keeps me fit and inspired and children are so funny. They always supply you with acting material! -Wesley Snipes

And regardless of the fact that in this country, certainly in the arts, we treat comedy as a second-class citizen, I've never thought of it that way. I've always thought it to be important. The last time I looked, the Greeks were holding up two masks. I've always thought of it not only as having equal value, but as the craft of it, being funny. -Jeff Daniels

You want everyone to be great and funny. I'm not saying I'm great, but I'm funny. -Jon Lovitz

I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends to come out of stress or trauma – something that makes you want to be funny. -Julie Brown

There was plenty of dysfunction in my family and I went to Catholic School with these psychotic nuns. I would always try to be funny to lighten the mood. -Julie Brown

I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented. -Julie Brown

It's funny, when bands or younger musicians ask me: 'So, what does it take to make it?' Well, first explain to me what you mean by 'making it': Do you want to be a rock star or do you want music to be your livelihood? -Eddie Van Halen

I was going through a little bit of turbulence in my career. And so, it's funny how turbulence itself will make you hold onto something for security. And so the only thing I knew is trust in the Lord and lean not unto your own heart, in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path. -Emmitt Smith

At home in L.A., Sunday is lazy. It's the wife and me lying in bed with coffee, watching 'The Soup' or something funny on TiVo. The kid will occasionally join us. Eventually, breakfast is at a place down the street called Paty's. And we always have some kind of great dinner – my wife makes a great roast beef. -Eric McCormack

I'm very silly as a person, but quality silliness on-screen has more of an art to it. Harrison Ford, whom I was in 'Morning Glory' with, has mastered that dry funny better than anyone. -Rachel McAdams

Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers… for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces. -Amy Poehler

So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit. -Al Yankovic

It's funny, there are so many women who are former executives and have taken all that stress and anxiety and transferred it onto their kids. -Ana Gasteyer

It's funny, because 'Arrested Development' is tied to Andy Richter in a few different ways. For me personally, after I did Andy Richter, one of the next things I did was a show called 'Quintuplets' for a season for Fox, and this was while 'Arrested Development' was on. I used to go over and hang out on their set. -Andy Richter

I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something. -Carl Hiaasen

In a funny way, poems are suited to modern life. They're short, they're intense. Nobody has time to read a 700-page book. People read magazines, and a poem takes less time than an article. -Caroline Kennedy

As a writer, or as a filmmaker, you have to present yourself, and part of what yourself is is what you're interested in, or what you think is funny, or what you think is sad, or what you think is horrible. -Charlie Kaufman

It's funny, after a while, you get tired of having to fight someone because they don't like the way you look. -Chris Robinson

Everybody's funny in different ways. -Colin Quinn

Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type. -Colin Quinn

You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody. -Colin Quinn

You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything. -Colin Quinn

I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman. -Craig Ferguson

I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny. -Craig Ferguson

It's funny, because I'm a man of strong opinions and when I make one, I stand by it even if it starts to appear incorrect to me after a while. -Danny Bonaduce

It's not so much what you learn about Mumbai, it's what you learn about yourself, really. It's a funny old hippie thing, but it's true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness. -Danny Boyle

My job is summer camp. I come and talk and try to make a TV show funny. -Danny Masterson

I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me. -Dave Attell

I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who are in a situation beyond their control is not funny to them or their families. -Maria Shriver

That is not all I need. I need dogs. A house filled with dogs and a smart, funny, kind, loving girlfriend or wife. -Moby

But Wall Street people are in fact very smart; they're funny, they're not company men who work their way up the chain. -Paul Krugman

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't? -Paul Merton

When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them. -Paul Merton

I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students – they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one. -Wendy Liebman

I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know she's worked twice as hard to get there, she's had to prove that she can be the leader, first, and then be funny on top of it. She has to emit a confidence that she's in control. -Wendy Liebman

I guess when I think about it, one of the things I like to dramatise, and what is sometimes funny, is someone coming unglued. I don't consider myself someone who is making the argument that I support these choices. I just think it can be funny. -Wes Anderson

I come more to Scotland than I ever used to, so I feel more connected to it, more part of the zeitgeist. You know when you realize you have a choice and I'm choosing my homeland. It's funny: when you get older these things creep up to you. -Alan Cumming

I want to get back and figure out how we're going to make 'The Tonight Show' funny and good. -Andy Richter

I tell girls all the time that the men that have fallen in love with me, have all fallen during a man repeller stage… funny how life works out like that. -Rachel Roy

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. -Rick Baker

It's funny: I've been very successful and done a lot of films, and I don't really have an agent – I don't really pursue jobs, I let people come to me. -Rick Baker

I don't really approach stories to make them different from other stuff I've seen, I just try to get into the character, into his or her head. Try to make it as funny, as scary or as wild as I can so that I really like it. -Sam Raimi

When I was younger I wanted to be a big movie star who'd get to be funny on talk shows and then I wanted to retire and write science fiction. -Scott Thompson

When you are not treated seriously, you develop comically. Its sense of oneself is so fractured and fragile that it's like the picked-on kid who has to become funny. -Scott Thompson

Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it's funny. -Shah Rukh Khan

You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level. -John Krasinski

Movies don't look hard, but figuring it out, getting the shape of it, getting everybody's character right and having it be funny, make sense and be romantic, it's creating a puzzle. Yes, having been a writer for so long, I have an awareness of when things are going awry, but it doesn't mean I know how to fix them. -Nancy Meyers

My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he's somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement. -Carol Leifer

To this day, I've found that it doesn't matter what a guy looks like if he's really funny. His sense of humor makes him attractive. On the other hand, you don't hear men saying, 'No she's not pretty, but is she ever funny!' -Catherine O'Hara

I don't get offered many dramatic roles. As soon as my face pops up in a movie, everyone knows I'm the funny guy. -Chris Elliott

It's quite funny in that I once won Rear of the Year at my school! I was about 17 in the sixth form and we used to have an end of year celebration and give out different awards. I even got a little trophy! -Jessica Ennis-Hill

Before, I guess, mum and dad were everything, but now, in my case, I had two new girls and all of a sudden they're completely dependent on you and there's a third generation. It's a funny shift all of a sudden. You have the babies, you have yourself and then you have your parents. -Roger Federer

I am a candid interview and I have a dark and dry sense of humor – a very Canadian sense of humor and I am only learning now stupidly that you can't read tongue. When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way. -Michael Buble

Japanese people have a funny habit of abbreviating names. -Shigeru Miyamoto

There's a long history of anthropomorphic animals in Japanese literature. The so-called 'funny animal scrolls' were the first narratives in Japanese history, and the heroes of many folk tales have animals as their companions. -Stan Sakai

In order for comedy to be funny you have to play the truth of the moment. But if you're not being completely truthful to the basis of the character, its not going to be funny. -Stephen Root

As I get older, I'm slowing down and, yes, calming down in my desire to be taken seriously. That I can be entertaining and funny and high nervous energy can work against me as a serious composer, slowly but surely you'll see me be quieter just so that people will listen. -Marvin Hamlisch

I was not funny growing up. -Tim Meadows

Not everybody agrees on what's funny, obviously. -Tim Meadows

My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty. -Ian Hislop

I think sometimes my humor is extremely dry, and a lot of times I would say things that I thought were very funny but… I have a reputation of – people think of me as a very fundamentalist, humorless fellow. -Ian MacKaye

I don't dismiss the music that I was involved with, I don't think it was a joke, I don't think it was funny or a phase, I don't think it was just something I was doing back then, to me it was who I am. It connects all the way through. I don't distance myself from any of it. -Ian MacKaye

Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that was a kids' movie, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids. -Jack Black

Mmmm… the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying, 'You had to be there.' -Jack Dee

You know what? I never really factor Hollywood into anything. I'm a black actor, so I can't really control what Hollywood thinks. I gotta go do my thing, and my jokes have got to be funny. Whatever I do has got to be great. -Jamie Foxx

It's funny, in some of the interviews I've seen that were done for the film, some people say things like, 'Oh, I was never a very big Jim Woodring fan. I've never thought his work was that great.' -Jim Woodring

The funny thing is musicians often love to go to see visual art because you've got all these pictures to turn into metaphors. -Dar Williams

What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny. -David Sedaris

I think I've got a funny face. -Dominic West

That's why I like to get out there, and get people to see the other side of Mitt, and know us in a different reflection when you see the family and how funny he is with the boys and with the grandkids. And you know, just what a super guy he is. That's part of what I am doing, is letting people see the other side of Mitt. -Ann Romney

I want to be a little more dramatic nowadays. I definitely want something big and funny, but I look for things that can just have people see me in a different light and let me mature as both an entertainer and an actor and a comedian. -Cedric the Entertainer

You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it – you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing… It's tough. -Eminem

Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends. -Eminem

Most of the gaffes I've made have not been funny – they've been stupid. -Jim Lehrer

As soon as you are trying to be funny or dramatic, that's when things start feeling fake and boring. -Joseph Gordon-Levitt

As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children. -P. J. O'Rourke

The music industry is really funny, when you have a hit record, everyone knows who are you, everyone wants to do duets with you, then if you have a miss, people suffer from amnesia. -Seal

I mean, I'm married first of all to one of, if not the most wonderful women in the world. She is everything – funny, attractive, hard-working, she has integrity, she loves me to bits. -Seal

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny. -Stephen Hawking

I don't mean to be funny. -Yogi Berra

The British are so funny. -Rose Byrne

It's funny with fiction – once you cut something, it hasn't happened anymore. -George Saunders

The word 'funny' is a bit like the word 'love' – we don't have enough words to describe the many varieties. -George Saunders

Being funny with a funny voice is more my comfort zone, a broader character that I try to humanize, a kind of silly or wacky persona that I try to fill in. -Hank Azaria

You can't be funny for funny's sake. You try to get as outrageous situation as you can but it always has to be believable and based in real character motivations and what people would really do. -Hank Azaria

You know what's funny? I don't ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises – I don't see that happening to me. -Harry Connick, Jr.

I don't really get shaken very much. People could heckle me, a spotlight could go out, I could forget a lyric… I'm not operating on somebody's brain, you know what I mean? So I just think it's all funny. -Harry Connick, Jr.

It's a funny thing – when I'm crazed with work, spending time with my children relaxes me. Yet, at the end of a long weekend with them, the very thing I need to relax is a little work and time away from them! -Emily Giffin

You find out in life that people really like you funny. So what do you give 'em? Humor. And then if you show them the other side, they don't like you as much. I find, too, that I can hide behind the idiot's mask being funny, and you never see the sorrow or the pain. -Terry Bradshaw

I like funny guys and those, for some reason, tend to be nerdy guys. -Megan Fox

Hollywood's just not funny. -Chris Rock

Funny is only something that others know about you – you can't be funny by yourself. -Chris Rock

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy. -Chris Rock

Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you. -Joan Rivers

I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny. -Taylor Swift

You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all. -Lily Tomlin

I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe. -Jerry Lewis

I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers. -Steve Martin

I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers. -Steve Martin

'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is a good one because it not only turned out, I think, to be a really funny movie but it was also a delight to shoot. We were in the South of France, working with Glenne Headly and Michael Caine and Frank Oz the director – who were just fun. -Steve Martin

The people I grew up around who I really liked were quick on the draw. It always just wowed me. And my mum would make weird funny comments. I can see in myself her self-deprecating, hippie humour. I can't take myself too seriously. -Drew Barrymore

No matter how popular you are as a stand-up – you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny – it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are. -Ellen DeGeneres

I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being… me. -Ellen DeGeneres

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings. -Ellen DeGeneres

The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?' -Conan O'Brien

I find it so funny that people find me so interesting. -Britney Spears

The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, 'Oh no, it's on the house.' -Richard Branson

I think things are funny when the character is taking it totally seriously. -Rachel Weisz

There are so many funny women in the world, and there has been for so many years, so I'll be happy when people can just move on from that, and things can just be 'comedies' and not 'female' or 'male,' and everyone gets an equal opportunity. -Kristen Wiig

With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny. -Kristen Wiig

I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.' -Louis C. K.

I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny – partly because I experience discomfort a lot, and it's a way of laughing at it and getting a release. -Joaquin Phoenix

You know what's funny is that I have this ongoing relationship with the city of Washington D.C. I went to George Washington University, and my nickname was K-Dub – based on G-Dub – and I'm now on the board of trustees at George Washington University. -Kerry Washington

The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. -J. K. Rowling

Actually I never did stand up. I'm not that funny. -Maynard James Keenan

I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times. -Jackie Mason

You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am. -Rush Limbaugh

When I was doing ensemble theater and comedy work, I felt I had some talents. But when I started doing my shows in Berkeley and found that I could be funny on my own, I was shocked. -Whoopi Goldberg

I mean, sometimes… a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing. -Eddie Izzard

It's funny, the hardest thing to do is to make something look like it's fast, loose and improvised, and get somebody to laugh. -Abel Ferrara

People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?' -Al Yankovic

My mom's passionate and energetic and very funny and enthusiastic. -Eric Stonestreet

I grew up in a funny way. -Gordon Ramsay

I don't really need to be dirty to be funny. -Jimmy Kimmel

I mean, I – it's so funny, I am, you know, I am, you know, a working woman out in the world, but I still live with my parents half the time. I've been sort of taking this very long, stuttering period of moving out. -Lena Dunham

There's always an article coming out, saying, 'The new thing is funny women!' -Lena Dunham

It's funny, I never considered that people are going to see me on the show and maybe stop me on the subway. -Lena Dunham

I never thought of myself as like, a funny person. -Lena Dunham

I love working with smart-funny people. -Tom Bergeron

I've never directed before, so I need to make sure that people know that I can. The movie that I've written, 'The Sophisticates,' is a… small ensemble comedy and I hope it's charming and funny. -Lena Headey

The funny thing is that people see one film like 'Racing Stripes' or 'Ice Princess' and all of a sudden, slip me into this category of 'that's what she's always involved in.' -Hayden Panettiere

It used to be that you had to make female TV characters perfect so no one would be offended by your 'portrayal' of women. Even when I started out on 'The Office' eight years ago, we could write our male characters funny and flawed, but not the women. And now, thankfully, it's completely different. -Mindy Kaling

People don't want to listen to a celebrity tweeting about their charities and shows. That's why comedy writers do well – we put out little funny ideas. -Mindy Kaling

When I was a little kid, I wrote this play about all these characters living in a haunted house. There was a witch who lived there, and a mummy. When they were all hassling him, this guy who bought the house – I can't believe I remember this – he said to them, 'Who's paying the mortgage on this haunted house?' I thought that was really funny. -Mindy Kaling

The funniest racism is the racism between minorities. It's something you don't see dramatized, but almost every minority I know who's my age, they have these funny stories about their parents stereotyping other minorities. -Mindy Kaling

Sometimes fake laughing is hard once you've done a scene 18 times. I don't want to brag, but I have a reputation for being very, very good at that. It's funny finding what's challenging about acting as you go. -Allison Williams

I've done so many funny jobs. I worked at a farmer's market through high school. I worked in the stock room of Ralph Lauren. I graduated to salesperson at Ralph Lauren, which was a big deal to me. I've been a P.A. I've been a stand-in. I've been an assistant's assistant. -Allison Williams

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. -Demetri Martin

I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming. -Demetri Martin

I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny. -Demetri Martin

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. -Demetri Martin

I thought I was funny as a kid. -Jo Brand

I'm 27. I feel like I get it. I'm OK with being sexy if I feel like it. Some days I'm brainy, some days I'm funny, some days I'm sexy, and sometimes, I just want to dance. -Nelly Furtado

My grandchildren are fabulous and funny. -Erica Jong

The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia! -Vera Wang

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone. -Reba McEntire

It's funny how many people will come to Vegas to see your show where they might not come out to see you unless you come to their hometown. -Reba McEntire

There's something dangerous about what's funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connection between funny and scary. -Christopher Walken

Some people can do things and get away with it. Comics are famously like that. Why is it that some guys can say the most horrible things and it's not offensive, it's funny? -Christopher Walken

I always like to watch comics and it's interesting that you can tell if someone's funny in 10 seconds. -Christopher Walken

Laurence Olivier said in an interview once that when he plays a tragedy he always aims for the funny parts, and the other way around. Because in a comedy you look for what's serious. I think that's true. Sometimes things are really funny if you're absolutely earnest. If you're really serious, it's hilarious. -Christopher Walken

I never know when I am being funny, and the other way too. I don't think you can think about that. I don't think you can try to be funny. Some people are just funny. -Christopher Walken

I'm afraid that this is me getting on my high horse now but we have yob television, yob newspapers, and funny enough whereas it was my mum and dad, school, police, church who used to set the standards, now it's tabloids and yob television who set the standards by which people live. -Gordon Strachan

I can't not find humor in elements of most parts of life, but at the same time nothing ever seems perpetually funny to me. -Greg Kinnear

It's funny, though, with films, because you can incorporate a variety of elements, and sometimes that can work for you and sometimes I think it can work against you. -Guy Pearce

I'm just not one of those naturally funny, relaxed actors who enjoy the spotlight and are so good at it. -Heath Ledger

You need to be silly to be funny. -William Shatner

This is the great thing about Northern Ireland. I walk down the street and people stop me and say things like, 'I know you. You're that wee golfer, aren't you?' I say, 'Yeah, that's me.' They say, 'Keep it up, wee man.' It's very funny and that's why I want to stay here as long as possible. -Rory McIlroy

'Portnoy's Complaint' was very far out there, and movies have always worked when you have either a funny situation between two or more people or a very dramatic situation. There's not that much difference. -Richard D. Zanuck

I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny. -Jeff Dunham

I like getting up in front of an audience. It's fun when you go to a baseball game and the crowd is cheering you. I can't deny it. And it's very funny, too. Sometimes you're shy; you go somewhere and everyone's looking at you, so you feel a little self-conscious. -Jon Lovitz

You know, in high school I thought Catholicism was funny and sort of ridiculous, but then I also liked it, too. Like, I definitely turned to it in times of trouble. -Julia Sweeney

Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen. -Julia Sweeney

I think one of the basic tasks in life – one of the nice things we can do for each other – is to take things that are horrible and scary and make them acceptable and less frightening and, if possible, funny. It feels great to succeed at that. -Julia Sweeney

I make these little films. I'm just a working person. I just study people a little bit more. It's more sociological, and it's funny anyway – not that serious. It's not like false humility. I just take it for what it is. -Julie Delpy

For some reason and I don't know why, but I don't think that I'm funny in California. So I always want to do my movies east somewhere. -Kevin James

It's funny, a lot of people think I take myself seriously because I come off so serious sometimes. But it's not that I take myself seriously, I take what I do seriously. -Laurence Fishburne

The inventory process and stepping back in your life can sometimes be a very dark process. But it also can be extremely funny and surprising. -Craig Charles

I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line. -Bob Newhart

The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work. -Denis Leary

Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish. -Denis Leary

You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't. -Denis Leary

A romantic comedy has to be funny and make you think about life; but the obstacle that has to be overcome is key. -Jennifer Lopez

I think I have an inner confidence that my tastes are pretty simple, that what I find funny finds a wide audience. I'm not particularly intellectual or clever or minority-focused in my creative instincts. And I'm certainly not aware of suppressing more sophisticated ambitions. -Rowan Atkinson

My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration. -Mike Myers

I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy – at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself. -Shaquille O'Neal

Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child's tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny. -Ben Stein

The funny thing is, I'm not really a big reader, not a big fan of books in the first place. -Macaulay Culkin

I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, 'That's funny,' then fall asleep. -Jimmy Fallon

I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent. -Elayne Boosler

Humor has become so cliche and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable. -Tom DeLonge

I love readings and my readers, but the din of voices of the audience gives me stage fright, and the din of voices inside whisper that I am a fraud, and that the jig is up. Surely someone will rise up from the audience and say out loud that not only am I not funny and helpful, but I'm annoying, and a phony. -Anne Lamott

The funny thing is, the girls that I'm always up against for roles are pretty nice and cool, like Emma Watson. She's awesome. -Amanda Seyfried

We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page – even funny writers who can't get it down on the page. -Calvin Trillin

I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of. -Calvin Trillin

If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. -Calvin Trillin

I don't think I'm funny. -Liam Neeson

It's funny, but you get to a time in your life when you think you have all the friends you will ever have. -Liam Neeson

Once an actor told me he went to the Shakespeare School of Acting, and I said, 'I went to the Shakespeare of Acting, too' and he said, 'Oh really?' And I said, 'I went to Shakespeare Elementary School in Chicago.' He didn't take the joke well, he didn't laugh and didn't think it was funny – I thought it was funny. It's all the same to me. -Michael Clarke Duncan

Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage. -Stevie Wonder

One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself. -Bill Murray

I mean I've seen 3D films so far and I think it's a long way to go before they replace actors. It's a funny thing with 3D, I haven't quite got it yet. Yet. -Daniel Radcliffe

I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out. -Margaret Cho

My parents are very funny when they have to deal with anything racy or off-color. They usually pretend they don't speak English. -Margaret Cho

TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. -Drew Carey

You know, I've always thought that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well from beginning to end. -Fiona Apple

I had the classic 40 meltdown. I did. It's embarrassing. It was pretty funny. But then I recovered. To me, it was like a second adolescence. Hormonally, my body was changing, my mind was changing, and so my relationship to myself and the world around me came to this assault of finiteness. -Keanu Reeves

'Married with Children' was racy. It was sexist. It was a lot of things, but mostly it was funny. -Katey Sagal

I was always pretty funny with my friends. -Kenan Thompson

You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid. -Larry David

There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny. -Larry David

I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny. -Larry David

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.' -Larry David

When human judgment and big data intersect there are some funny things that happen. -Nate Silver

Life's pretty funny when you're objectively on the outside looking at it. -Philip Seymour Hoffman

I have an all-Japanese design team, and none of them speak English. So it's often funny and surprising how my ideas end up lost in translation. -Pharrell Williams

I don't just try to be funny. -Bil Keane

I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion. -Sarah Silverman

I don't know if there is a gene for comedy, but my dad was a very funny man. He just didn't know it. He was a naturally funny character, and when my brother and I would laugh at things he said and did, he would say, 'What do you think is so funny?' -James Belushi

Comedy is not funny. Comedy is hard work and timing and lots and lots of rehearsals. -Larry Hagman

I'm like, bursting. I should be working. I don't want to take a break. It's funny, on set, I don't have to go to the bathroom, I don't have anything wrong, I'm perfectly fine, so through-and-through. I'm not hungry. I'm literally not even in my own body. -Kristen Stewart

I love Charlie, Billy Burke's character. Writing for him is so spectacular, he's so funny and wry and every scene he's in he just takes. There's a scene in 'Eclipse' where Bella tells him she's a virgin, and it's the funniest, most awkward scene I've ever seen on film. -Melissa Rosenberg

What's funny about that is when I was writing Twilight just for myself and not thinking of it as a book, I was not thinking about publishing, and yet at the same time I was casting it in my head. Because when I read books, I see them very visually. -Stephenie Meyer

It's a funny thing: You want so badly for people to see what you do – you're proud of it – and I like the effect that movies have on people. But the attention can also make me uncomfortable. -Kristen Stewart

And I like to keep whatever is mine remaining that way. It's a funny little game to play and it's a slippery slope. I always say to myself I'm never going to give anything away because there's never any point or benefit for me. -Kristen Stewart

It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's impersonations of me, and it's basically like a hyperactive child. -Dave Grohl

Hitchcock had a charm about him. He was very funny at times. He was incredibly brilliant in his field of suspense. -Tippi Hedren

One lion thinks it's just hilarious to tackle us. He's very funny about it… and we always know when it will happen. -Tippi Hedren

Working with Chaplin was very amusing and strange. His films are so funny, but working with him, I found him to be a very serious man. Whereas the films of Hitchcock are macabre, he could be a very funny man to work with, always telling jokes and holding court. Of course, when I worked with Charlie he was getting older. -Tippi Hedren

It's unbearable when someone changes around you. Just imagine that your life partner changes, then it is difficult to cope with. Or your mother. Or your father. They were strong and now they're like a baby – it's not so funny. -Michael Haneke

My hair has never been my greatest feature, so that was funny enough unto itself that my hair became so focused on. -Jennifer Aniston

Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day. -Jennifer Aniston

I read a lot of scripts that I just don't find very funny. -Jennifer Aniston

The follow your dreams thing is really important because so many people are railroaded into taking other paths by their family, their friends, people who should be supportive going, 'What are you talking about?' Even just seemingly regular career paths, but if it's not what people expect for you they kind of react funny. -Joan Jett

People used to be funny about approaching me, but now they seem to think I'm as sane as anyone who's done what I've done in movies can be. -Philip Seymour Hoffman

It is funny what a year can do. -Victor Cruz

It's funny: I'm a lifelong musician, but because I principally play the piano it's been a solitary thing. -Gary Oldman

It's funny, because when you're younger you're in a rush to be 18 or 21 or whatever. But then you hit 30. And now, the days go by like hours. You think, 40, man, this could be the halfway point. It could be the three-quarters point, you know? Who knows? -Mark Wahlberg

Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead. -Flip Wilson

My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine. -Flip Wilson

I gave my heart to the Lord, and I remember the incident vividly. The Lord spoke to me. I know that sounds funny. It was not an audible voice or anything of that nature. -Jimmy Swaggart

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person. -Janeane Garofalo

The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own – after all I've never had a husband. -Francesca Annis

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things. -Adam Sandler

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock. -Billy Corgan

A good artist is willing to die many times over. What's funny is, I've died so many times. -Billy Corgan

Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh. -Tom Lehrer

Only bad golfers are lucky. They're the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky. -Lee Trevino

'Come out' is so funny to me because I've never been in. -Adam Lambert

Sometimes I think what I write is funny in its quiet way. -Doris Lessing

It's funny. You succeed, but now where are you gonna go from there? I've got to keep proving that I can laugh or cry more real each time. -Jeff Bridges

Do I have a long-term plan? Kind of. I have a general direction, I think. But it's funny what comes down the pike. -Jeff Bridges

I don't know if I was funny as a child, though I always thought my parents really enjoyed listening to me sing. -Pippa Evans

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world. -Arthur Smith

The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but that's about it. -Arthur Smith

I actually find novels that are determined to be funny at every turn quite oppressive. -Ian Mcewan

That's why 'Gangnam Style' works. If someone handsome uses that phrase it's just awkward. But if someone like me uses it, it's funny. -Psy

I started writing when I was 9 years old. I was like this weird kid who would just stay in my room, typing little funny magazines and drawing comic strips. -R. L. Stine

I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary. -R. L. Stine

I've always loved the blues, ever since I was a kid. It has a depth to it that a lot of contemporary music doesn't have. It has pain and suffering in it, but funny stories, too. And it is built on storytelling, which is something I really love. -Nickolas Ashford

I actually went to see 'Rushmore,' and I came late, and I missed myself. It was great, that scene. I caught that scene the other day on TV, funny enough, the first scene that you see with Jason Schwartzman and myself, where we talk about his grades. That's a brilliant scene, and I have to say, we play it brilliantly. -Brian Cox

I really wanted to just be a musician. I didn't want to be anything else, but I was funny and all that. -Jamie Foxx

This may sound funny, but as much as the 'Today' show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. I'd been happy there. I never went into the boss's office and pounded my fist on the desk, saying, 'Give me more money! Give me a prime-time show!' -Jane Pauley

It's interesting that whenever I meet some of the other Bond girls, I always have something in common, and it is an interesting sorority. We all share about our Bonds. 'Did your Bond do that?' 'Yes mine did!' So it is quite funny conversations. We may as well be in high school. -Jane Seymour

I recently spent quite a bit of time in Sheffield, England, which is where I'm from. I wouldn't move back there, but it's funny when you spend a bit of time in the place where you were brought up. You kind of realize how that place has had quite a big effect on you or made you a certain way. -Jarvis Cocker

It's funny, because I sometimes feel that I'm most creative when I'm pregnant. -Georgina Chapman

I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don't think he's funny in either the way that Reagan was funny – or John McCain and Dick Cheney are both funny in that ruthless, kind of mean way. -Mo Rocca

If you're a studio writer, the funny better be on the page. -Thomas Lennon

I auditioned for a solo in church and got it. I was about seven and I sang a song called, 'Jesus, I Heard You Had a Big House' and I remember people standing up at the end and me thinking, 'Oh, I think I'm going to like this.' That's how it all began. Sounds funny to say you got your start in church, but I did. -Kristin Chenoweth

Everybody's funny if you love them. -Anna Torv

I'm terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they're not funny. I end up saying, 'Oh, no, I'm joking, I'm joking.' -Anna Torv

Britain's a funny place and there's a lot of funny people coming out of there and a lot of people are finding mediums to express themselves. -Brendan Coyle

I'd like to do a film which is funny. -Clive Owen

It's funny, because I never think of myself as Little Miss All-Together. -Courteney Cox

When I was a kid I didn't feel like I fit in because – this is really silly and I probably shouldn't say it, but, I didn't think anything was funny. So I used to go home and literally cry to my mom and my step-dad at the time and I didn't think anything was funny. I couldn't laugh. -Courteney Cox

However, frat-boy humor is funny and it always will be. -Craig Kilborn

I would like to do something modern and possibly funny. -Dan Stevens

There's always something funny about men chasing women. -David Spade

I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose. -David Spade

Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine. -Johnny Vegas

Success is always less funny than failure. -Jon Ronson

I had a very funny family. -Zach Braff

For me, I've worked hard for people to think I'm funny. -Nikki Cox

Some actors try to play parts and do things they can't do. Being funny is one of them. Being funny's hard. -Tom Sizemore

I think the funny thing about acting for me – and I hold it in a very holy, spiritual way – not to be overly fundamentalist about it, but it's that important to me – is that it is an ancient healing art. -Melissa Leo

I'm never afraid to try something if I think it's funny. And I know I'll regret it if I don't. -Seann William Scott

And the funny thing is, I've always been an optimist – it's practically a congenital disorder with me. -Molly Ivins

I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious. -Molly Ivins

One longs to be funny, to make people laugh. Laughter is such a sign of approval, isn't it? -Tom Baker

It's funny, in literature no one ever goes to the lavatory. -Tom Baker

For a Catholic kid in parochial school, the only way to survive the beatings – by classmates, not the nuns – was to be the funny guy. -George A. Romero

It's funny – nowadays people that are famous get chased by paparazzi. They have this fame, but they don't have the money to hide from it. -Matt LeBlanc

I have funny bones. If there's ever any kind of tension, I'll always be the one to try and be funny to loosen things up. -Matt LeBlanc

You can't be funny if you don't have good material. -Matt LeBlanc

I mean it's funny, playing music, how of course you want it to do well, you want them to like it, but it's not competitive like an election, it's the Olympics, it's not a Formula 1 race. The Billboard charts are just to show you what people like. -Eddie Van Halen

I really love 'Soapdish.' I wish 'Soapdish' had more of a moment because I felt that that is a really strong, funny movie. Kevin Kline is hilarious in that movie. -Elisabeth Shue

I used to say, 'Man, I think I'd be a really good dad. I'll be a great provider. I'm funny; I'll go on trips with them – I'll do all sorts of stuff.' But the momming? I'm not made for that. I have a really good mom; I know what she put into it. -Elizabeth Gilbert

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